jokes jokes and more jokes

john57 By john57, 1st Jan 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Jokes

here is a page of jokes for all to read hi hope you like
them..

jokes

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?


A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.

The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first again yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.

Tags

Funny Experience, Funny Experiences, Funny Poems, Funny Stuff, Jokes

Meet the author

author avatar john57
hi i come from birmingham in the uk i like writing about poems and stories .

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Comments

author avatar Mikey.
2nd Jan 2012 (#)

LOL now thats what i love a good joke and they are good.
A joke for you, It was the time of the great flood, and the last kerryman was standing on top of mount brandon with the water lapping at his feet, Along came noah in his ark and paddy called out to him saying, Hay there noah any chance of a lift, And noah said sorry paddy but i have two of everything so i cant take you,
Yerra feck off with yourself so noah said paddy tis only an ould shower anyway.

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author avatar john57
2nd Jan 2012 (#)

hi mikey thanks for likeing my jokes happy new year to you all at home..

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author avatar Carol
2nd Jan 2012 (#)

Well done John, it's nice to have a man with jokes amongst us. Sometimes we all take life too seriously. Bring them on!

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author avatar john57
2nd Jan 2012 (#)

hi carol thanks for likeing my jokes happy new year to you all at home..

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author avatar D in The Darling
3rd Jan 2012 (#)

Hahahahaha! So cute of you. Thanks for sharing.

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author avatar ittech
3rd Jan 2012 (#)

XLNT, Have a great New Year

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author avatar Denise O
3rd Jan 2012 (#)

Made me laugh, funny! Thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Bridgitte Williams
4th Jan 2012 (#)

LOL, I loved the blonde joke...too funny! :-)

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author avatar Retired
4th Jan 2012 (#)

Good jokes...loved the last one...thanks for sharing

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author avatar Songbird B
8th Jan 2012 (#)

Great jokes John! Thanks for making me chuckle..

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author avatar Tranquilpen
11th Jan 2012 (#)

Thank you :-))

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author avatar ittech
12th Jan 2012 (#)

TX 2 share

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author avatar Md Rezaul Karim
16th Jan 2012 (#)

Can anyone tell, the difference between a bicycle and a woman?

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author avatar ittech
19th Jan 2012 (#)

oh good to know this..

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author avatar Ahnam sadaf wali
24th Jan 2012 (#)

jokes remove my boredom quickly.....a awesome jokes make happy a fail man..its really a great fun...i enjoy it very much.... :-)

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