You Don't Get A Cookie For That

aking1614 By aking1614, 3rd Jun 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

Did you ever notice that there are a lot of people in this world who think they deserve special praise and recognition for doing ordinary things? I find this to be especially true of men and teenagers. Here’s just a short list of my pet peeves when it comes to patting oneself on the back.

My Top 7 No Cookie Moments

Did you ever notice that there are a lot of people in this world who think they deserve special praise and recognition for doing ordinary things? I find this to be especially true of men and teenagers. Why do people want extra credit for doing what they’re SUPPOSED to do? I never did understand the logic behind that particular mindset, but here are some of the ones I’ve come across over the years that I find simply mind-boggling.

“I clean my room. Why can’t I get an allowance?”

Teens are notorious for this one, but in my mind there are a couple of major problems with this line of reasoning. First off, you don’t HAVE a room. I pay the mortgage here and therefore it is MY room. I certainly have an expectation that my room be kept clean throughout your stay here. Clean the parts of my house that you don’t use, then maybe we can talk about payment. Secondly, if I am forced to clean the room you stay in for any reason (health, sanitation or, God forbid, pest control) you will be devastated to discover that you have only a bed and a week’s supply of clothing remaining when I’m done. I have no qualms whatsoever about throwing the rest away; I paid for it all anyway.

“I washed the dishes for you, and you didn’t even say, “Thank you”. “

This one I heard from my husband. I find it funny now, but I had some choice words to say at the time. So, okay…Washing the dishes is not necessarily MY job just because I’m the woman of the house. If you washed the dishes, it’s because they needed to be washed. Chances are you were responsible for most of them being dirty in the first place. So it’s kind of like saying, “Look, I cleaned up after myself! Aren’t you going to thank me?” Uh…. No. Grown folks OUGHT to clean up after themselves, don’t you think? And if memory serves me correctly, I don’t recall anyone thanking me for washing the dishes the other 364 days of the year.

“What are you so mad about? I passed!”

Ah, yes… This from the teen with the precariously low GPA. “I passed.” Don’t people attend school so that they can pass? Isn’t that the whole purpose? To pass; to advance; to move to the next level; to gain an education in order to prepare for the future? When colleges are reviewing applications from potential students, is it enough to say, “I passed” ? When employers are seeking to fill a position, are they going to interview everyone who passed? I think not. No one wants to be bothered with a slacker; someone who squeaks by while giving minimal effort. Get ready to spend your career flipping burgers somewhere. Next….

“I take of MY family!”

Honey, sweetie, I hate to be the one to break it to you but…. THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO! Do you seriously believe, for one moment, that you were blessed with a family so that you can neglect them? Enough said.

“I work hard every day.”

Unless you were born a Rockerfeller or a Hilton, or something like that, welcome to adulthood. Most adults who are responsible for taking care of themselves and/or others (refer to the point above), work hard everyday. The rest of us who work every day really appreciate every able-bodied individual, who can, doing the same. It’s the best way to support yourself that I can think of. Why be an unnecessary drain on the welfare and unemployment system? By the way, I’m sure your employer appreciates you working hard every day as well. After all, that’s what they pay you for.

“I pay my bills!”

This is the usual follow-up statement to “I work hard every day.”
Well, duh… You made the bills. Do you expect someone else to pay them for you? If you find a good sugar daddy (or sugar momma), give them my number. I could use a little help myself these days. Hook a sister up, will ya?

And last, but certainly not least:

“I’m faithful to my wife/husband.”

You’ve gotta love this one! And though, in our society this may earn you a few brownie points, you still can’t get a whole brownie/cookie. Remember on your wedding day when the priest/preacher had you repeat something they called “wedding vows”? Well there was a part in those vows – don’t know whether you actually paid attention – that said you would cleave only unto him/her (your spouse), forsaking all others ’til death do us part. Guess what, kids? That means you promised to be faithful. You’ll get no pats on the back from me for not breaking up your home by way of infidelity.

This list by no means encompasses all the self-righteous, albeit idiotic, statements that have been made to me at some point over my 47 years on this planet. I’m sure you’ve heard a few yourself.


Family Life, House Work, Marriage, Men, Personal Responsibility, School, Teenagers, Undeserved Praise

Meet the author

author avatar aking1614
I am an engineer by trade, but a poet and songstress at heart. I started writing occasional articles online about five years ago, but poetry is still my first love.

find me on twitter@ashanpoetry

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author avatar OLDCHEM
8th Jun 2010 (#)

An interesting read

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author avatar Cashmere
11th Jun 2010 (#)

So very true!
Good to see you here on wikinut...

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