Yes I know I am a total flop and useless to society, but still, give me your money!

Marzeus von Hemelen By Marzeus von Hemelen, 23rd Nov 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

"Yes, I'm a bum, deal with it. I have nothing to offer society. Now, may I still have your money, pwease?"

Yes I know I am a total flop and useless to society, but still, give me your money!

I'm driving to town, in order to buy stuff again.

I know many times before, I have decided that the shopping spree I had at the time, was the very, very, very last one, as I don't really need more stuff.

But, as time goes on, I see more stuff that I know are just perfect for use in my art projects. Blast my art projects and their eating up my money! Why was I cursed with so much talent?

Well I feel blessed to be who I am, so whatever, I must practise my talents, regardless of how many people reject me because of my impractical fantasy dreamworlds.

I'm taking my car today because I have a long list of things I do from top to bottom and then again from top to bottom and so on, and the next one on the list was driving my car a bit. I very seldom drive my car, and it must drive a bit or the tires will start perishing and the engine oil will accumulate at the bottom and become sludge.

I drive and come to a traffic light in Voortrekkerdorp. There's a young guy standing right in the road, holding a sign. He's a bum. White bums have become plentiful in the past two decades, as whites are basically banned from being given jobs due to "affirmative action".

So there stands our poor white Afrikaner bum, holding up his bum sign. Yep, nobody would employ him, ever, because he's filthy and young and looks sly and dishonest. Some people just have that look about them of non-trustworthyness. Especially young guys who look ambitious in their sinisterism.

But his sign does catch the attention. I start reading and then can't help laughing my arse off, all the while feeling so guilty.

The sign starts:

"YES I know I am a total flop and I am totally and completely useless to society, ..." and then keeps bashing himself some more; I don't remember the exact wording, but it's so honest about how the money given to him will probably some of it be used for liquor and drugs, but it's not because he wants to, but because he's caught in a spiral of addiction and hopelessness.

I don't even remember what else because I'm trying to keep the smile off my face reading this essay of his on his plaquard and it becomes more an issue of trying to keep my composure than remembering what I'm reading.

Then of course the sign continues to basically say throw your money at me anyway because I want it and need it and have needs and I need your money so give it to me.

I see the guy looks at me and I try to wipe the smile off my face but to no avail. I can't help smiling at this almost very cute, deliciously pathetic poetry he's holding up, thinking that's going to make people give him more money. Maybe it works, what do I know.

He then walks off and goes to stand in front of the cars from the left of the crossing, because the traffic lights are changing.

Sigh... oh my people are so lost and suffering. At least he got one thing right: Marketing is very important.

Read more on MarzeusVonHemelen.Com


Addiction, Beggar, Begging, Bum, Hopelessness, Joblessness, Marzeus, Marzeus Von Hemelen, Money, White Bum

Meet the author

author avatar Marzeus von Hemelen
I like eggs for breakfast. I live on top of a hill inside a beautiful but old dwelling complex. I like to take life in through my senses and then give feedback through my writing.

Share this page

moderator johnnydod moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


author avatar Mariah
17th Mar 2016 (#)

Are you familiar with the term
'ARSEHOLE' you should be

Reply to this comment

author avatar Marzeus von Hemelen
17th Mar 2016 (#)


That's not really part of my vocabulary but then again I've had a good upbringing so that's probably where you got to know more such words than me.

I wouldn't go as far as calling the guy an "ARSEHOLE" as you like to put it though. He's just trying to get a buck or two from whomever will give it to him. Don't hate on the poor.

Thanks for stopping by!

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Can't login?