When A Good Intention Got Me A Fat Slap
I attended my boss's wedding and at the time, hadn't met his young, well-proportioned physically attributed future wife Bridgett. It was my turn to meet her at the reception which consisted of 400 guests.
- Everyone heard it...
- What Lovely Nipples You Have
- Kurt Just Got More Mad
- Charged With Crimen Injuria
- Nipples Became Dimples
Everyone heard it...
Leading up to the bridal table, was a long procession of well-wishers and I realized, that every gaze was on the proceedings at the main table and even the band had stopped playing, I was drawing ever closer to where she stood...
What Lovely Nipples You Have
Finally, it was my turn to meet her. She was particularly well-endowed in the chest area, I noticed, as I put out my hand to greet her, I also noticed her totally disarming and very attractive dimpled cheeks for the first time."Hello, Bridgett, I said:"What lovely nipples you have!" I blurted out! O.M.G. I was completely speechless and was rapidly searching for some way to fix it when I felt a searing pain in my eye,
Kurt Just Got More Mad
as Kurt, my boss hit me. This pain was followed by my head, sharply connecting with the tiled floor. It took all my might, not to black out.
All the time I was desperately trying to explain my blunder but the words just kept coming out wrong. This only served to get Kurt more riled. Finally, when it seemed as though he was going to end my life, his dad jumped in to save me.
Charged With Crimen Injuria
Sheepishly, I sauntered out of the reception area. I could feel every searing stare fixed at the back of my head. I assumed that I had been fired in the process so I didn't bother showing my face there again.
A week later, while going through the classifieds online, there was a loud, impatient banging on my door. It must be the cops, I thought. Kurt was charging me with crimen injuria after all. I hastily searched for my Attorney's business card. The banging grew more intense...
Nipples Became Dimples
At the door, I asked:"Who's there?" "Hey man, it's Kurt." What the hell? I thought, was he here to finish the job? "What do you want?" I asked through the locked door. "Just let me in," he said. "Are you out of your mind?" I asked. "Do you really think I am willingly going to let you in and get beaten up again?""Wait, Andre'" he said, "I know what you meant at the reception man." Not convinced I responded, asking:"How do you know what I meant?" There was silence, then I heard Kurt say:"You meant, dimples, right?" "That's correct." I answered, "Listen, man, please open up and let's talk." Kurt pleaded.
It turned out, that Kurt's dad had once again come to my rescue by reminding Kurt, that he had himself found Bridgett's dimples irresistible when he first courted her and that he was certain that this was what I had meant.
Kurt apologized deeply for losing it at his wedding and I am back in my old position and if anything, the incident had actually improved our already cordial relationship. Bridgett had been as shocked as I, at Kurt's reaction and had also assumed that I had meant dimples when I blundered.