When A Good Intention Got Me A Fat Slap

Tranquilpen By Tranquilpen, 4th Apr 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

I attended my boss's wedding and at the time, hadn't met his young, well-proportioned physically attributed future wife Bridgett. It was my turn to meet her at the reception which consisted of 400 guests.

Everyone heard it...

Leading up to the bridal table, was a long procession of well-wishers and I realized, that every gaze was on the proceedings at the main table and even the band had stopped playing, I was drawing ever closer to where she stood...

What Lovely Nipples You Have

Finally, it was my turn to meet her. She was particularly well-endowed in the chest area, I noticed, as I put out my hand to greet her, I also noticed her totally disarming and very attractive dimpled cheeks for the first time."Hello, Bridgett, I said:"What lovely nipples you have!" I blurted out! O.M.G. I was completely speechless and was rapidly searching for some way to fix it when I felt a searing pain in my eye,

Kurt Just Got More Mad

as Kurt, my boss hit me. This pain was followed by my head, sharply connecting with the tiled floor. It took all my might, not to black out.
All the time I was desperately trying to explain my blunder but the words just kept coming out wrong. This only served to get Kurt more riled. Finally, when it seemed as though he was going to end my life, his dad jumped in to save me.

Charged With Crimen Injuria

Sheepishly, I sauntered out of the reception area. I could feel every searing stare fixed at the back of my head. I assumed that I had been fired in the process so I didn't bother showing my face there again.

A week later, while going through the classifieds online, there was a loud, impatient banging on my door. It must be the cops, I thought. Kurt was charging me with crimen injuria after all. I hastily searched for my Attorney's business card. The banging grew more intense...

Nipples Became Dimples

At the door, I asked:"Who's there?" "Hey man, it's Kurt." What the hell? I thought, was he here to finish the job? "What do you want?" I asked through the locked door. "Just let me in," he said. "Are you out of your mind?" I asked. "Do you really think I am willingly going to let you in and get beaten up again?""Wait, Andre'" he said, "I know what you meant at the reception man." Not convinced I responded, asking:"How do you know what I meant?" There was silence, then I heard Kurt say:"You meant, dimples, right?" "That's correct." I answered, "Listen, man, please open up and let's talk." Kurt pleaded.

It turned out, that Kurt's dad had once again come to my rescue by reminding Kurt, that he had himself found Bridgett's dimples irresistible when he first courted her and that he was certain that this was what I had meant.

Kurt apologized deeply for losing it at his wedding and I am back in my old position and if anything, the incident had actually improved our already cordial relationship. Bridgett had been as shocked as I, at Kurt's reaction and had also assumed that I had meant dimples when I blundered.


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author avatar Tranquilpen
As Andre' Hartslief, I strongly believe, that In life, there are no justified resentments.”We the old legends will become relics and fade away, while new giants emerge in our world of sobering truths.

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author avatar Mariah
4th Apr 2017 (#)

Ha ha ha...can't stop laughing at this one..priceless..ps welcome home buddy xx

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
5th Apr 2017 (#)

Hilarious to read but not at that time!

I rehearse during such occasions not to walk into a fiasco but I feel being natural is the way but it is indeed tough after we find ourselves in a cesspool when intended approbation turns to embarassing gaffe! siva

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author avatar Donald Pennington
10th May 2017 (#)

It happens. I should someday tell you my story of vegan piazza...

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author avatar Donald Pennington
10th May 2017 (#)

Oh! I forgot. I'm not welcome amongst the gawdbots.

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author avatar Tranquilpen
11th May 2017 (#)

Don, Of course you are welcome on my page, I know also that your rage is an outcry of inflicted anguish and hurt.

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author avatar Lesa Cote
31st Jan 2020 (#)

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