The hose pipe ban will cripple us gardening oldies

THE BARD By THE BARD, 6th Apr 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Poetry

With the Water Companies putting bans on the use of hose pipes it will hit the amateur gardeners hard, especially us old un's. You could be fined up to £1,000 for breaking the rules.

Watering cans instead of the Hose Pipe.

The Water Company that supplies us have put a hose pipe ban on in the area where I live to save water.
Now I cannot water my garden with a hose pipe like I used to do but I will be allowed to water my garden using a watering can filled from the tap outside which I normally connect my hose pipe to.
I have 2 watering cans which hold 2 gallons of water each which I am allowed to fill. The first one I will fill and while I am watering the garden with that one I will be filling the second one under the running tap having judged the amount of time for it to fill and then transfer the empty one to be filled whilst I water the garden with the full one.
A rotation system, with cans without turning the tap off until I have completed watering my small vegetable plot
Bearing in mind the water shortage I will be conservative with my usage.
So what is the difference between me using the watering can procedure and me using the hose pipe? Absolutely none as I will still be using the same amount of water as I did with a hand held hose except I will be walking back and forth with the cans.
I therefore suggest the water companies concerned have got it all wrong regarding banning using the hand held hose pipe. The ban should be aimed at the people who run sprinklers and automatic watering systems which are un-attended running for hours and not being monitored to assess when the watering is adequate. I am 75 years old and I am proud of and love my garden so I will have to suffer the extra work I am being forced to do to keep my crops growing to put onto my table. Water companies take another look at your rules please, us old un's who love our gardens will be suffering with these rules you have imposed upon us

The poem to press the point.

This hose pipe ban I hate, I’m not a fan,
I’ll have to water, my little plot, with a can.
If I fill two big cans, to use in rotation,
Whilst one is filling, I’ll water my plantation.

So where’s the water saving, no one knows,
No difference, to me watering, holding my hose,
They should hit the un-monitored sprinkler freaks,
Not this seventy-five year old, putting water on his leeks.

For now I’ll have to suffer, humping water to and fro,
To please big Water companies, with their tales of woe,
Take another look, at those rules, you impose,
Please let us old un’s carry on, using the hose.

The Luton Bard.


Gardening, Hose Pipe Bans, Water Consumption, Water Scarcity, Watering

Meet the author

author avatar THE BARD
78 years old
I play table tennis and golf.
I'm a keen gardener.
I write amusing stories about
everyday things I see around me.

Share this page

moderator johnnydod moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


author avatar Val Mills
9th Apr 2012 (#)

Ingenious way of solving the problem, and just think you'll be even fitter, though I suspect you already are! Nice work.

Reply to this comment

author avatar THE BARD
9th Apr 2012 (#)

Thanks Val. I play Table Tennis 5 times a week so yes I am fit. With the watering with the cans as well I'll be fit to drop!!

Reply to this comment

author avatar irenen1
2nd Dec 2012 (#)

Rules imposed by those that don't use a hose for gardening are confounding the issue. Time to go back to the rain barrel and fit it with an underground soaker hose.

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Can't login?