The Last Day That Isn't

Coletha Albert By Coletha Albert, 20th Dec 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

The last day means laundry day for me but for my neighbors it's been time to move, to cry, to worry...

Busily Bustling About Like Bees

For the last two months, I have watched my neighbors move away, packing up their homes in preparation for the fulfillment of the Mayan Prophesy on December 21st, 2012. The Winter Solstice happens every year on December 21 but with the ending of the Mayan Calendar, tomorrow has taken on "special significance" for my neighbors.

The Special Significance of the Mayan Calendar

For my neighbors "special significance" has many different definitions. For my neighbor Reginald, the fulfillment of the Mayan Calendar means he should stockpile all to the toilet paper in our zip code. For months he has been stocking up on Scotts Tissue, Charmin Tissue, and even the generic brands. When he catches me watching him, he waves but continues to wrestle with his toilet paper stash. I haven't seen him bring in any food though...

For Maria and Freddie, the special significance of the Mayan Calendar means that they needed to purchase EVERYTHING. Being natives of Mexico, they want to meet the end of the Mayan Calendar in style! So, they have updated all appliances, all vehicles (they have three), all furniture and even their Comcast cable. They updated their Basic Comcast Cable package with the works! All of their children's toys and clothing have been replaced with new items as well. I asked them if they were preparing for Christmas and the answer was no. They are preparing for the end of the Mayan Calendar and so are getting rid of everything old and meeting December 22nd with all new material possessions. It makes me really wonder what is in their minds but I most likely wouldn't understand anyway...

Then there is Tom and Rachel, not that it has anything to do with it, they are Republicans and Catholics. In recognition of the ending of the Mayan Calendar they have been strenuously going to the fertility clinic to be as pregnant as possible for December 21st, 2012. Currently, Rachel is carrying six fetuses to be delivered by C-section on Saturday, December 22nd. That's right in one day they will be parents of a total of twelve children. I have gone to shop for baby clothing, bottles and newborn Pampers. I have also babysat for them to go to doctors appointments over this past Summer. Truthfully, they make me a bit nervous; but it's also curious...

Different people are meeting the end of the Mayan Calendar in many varied ways! For myself and my family, it's life as usual...we are preparing for Christmas and New Year's which is our Wedding Anniversary, so I am wrapping presents hanging up Christmas cards that we receive daily in the mail. While my neighbors bustle about, I stand at my window sipping tea and just wondering what they will do come Christmas...

It is my hope that they will transition from all of this "busy" work, increasing debt, and birthing babies with some semblance of their old selves... Meanwhile, I have the number to Western Washington State Hospital on my speed dial! The Mayan Prophesy has been touted to be the end of the world. Will it be the end of the world?

I am not holding my breath. It's the same as any other Winter Solstice. So, Happy Holidays to you and yours and a joyous New Year!

Tags

Christmas, Mayan Calendar, Mayan Prophecy, Mayans, Winter Solstice

Meet the author

author avatar Coletha Albert
I am a native of Texas who has lived in California and Iraq. Currently living in Seattle, WA, USA and author of three books; Hell in Houston, Sunbeams and Carnal.

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Comments

author avatar Coletha Albert
21st Dec 2012 (#)

Glad you enjoyed my page...will check out the link. Happy Holidays!

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
21st Dec 2012 (#)

It looks like life as usual in Asia now as we are approaching 4 pm - siva

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author avatar Coletha Albert
21st Dec 2012 (#)

I know right?? The Mayan Calendar has ended and nothing else has...life goes on... Happy Holidays to you!

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
22nd Dec 2012 (#)

And we are all still here. Guess I'll get to eat some turkey :-)

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author avatar Coletha Albert
23rd Dec 2012 (#)

Awesome!!

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author avatar Tony Barnes
22nd Dec 2012 (#)

Great piece...glad we are still here. So much for the Mayan calendar.

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