The Human Genome Project- A Case Study

Diann Messer By Diann Messer, 24th Sep 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3vgvmo2f/
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

Marriage has its humorous moments for sure. This moment just had to be captured as a humorous memory in my own marriage.

Life with a Do-it-Yourself Man

Scientists have been able to discover some very interesting things in the area of human genome research. I would like to add a case study for your consideration.

I've been married more than 40 years to a perfectly lovely man. He is good, kind, patient, loyal, and possesses many of the other traits found in any high-ranking Boy Scout. He does have one personality trait that has always puzzled me, however. He has an absorbing fascination with electricity. Maybe "fascination" isn't even the right word to use here; perhaps "addiction" might be a more apt description of his electrical disorder.

Please let me explain.

We are in the process of selling our house, which requires several things to be done in order to make it more appealing. Since our home was built in the 1920's, we needed to change over our electrical service from a combination of half fuses - half breakers, to all breakers in a 100-amp service. That seemed like a rather ominous undertaking to me, but my do-it-yourself husband just couldn't wait to get his hands on those wires.

He started by going to the local hardware store and gazing like an awe-struck lover at all the breakers, load centers, and other assorted gadgets required for his project. I was watching him intently as his eyes and hands moved from one object to another. He clearly wanted them all, but had to narrow his search to the project at hand. I knew we were headed for trouble when he flagged down a store clerk and began asking questions about which piece of equipment would perform what job. I noticed that the clerk eyed him warily also.

With purchases made and returning to our home, he asked me if I would be "needing" the electricity for the next couple of hours. I weakly responded that I could live without it for a short time, but wondered if a couple of hours were truly all he would need.

I retired to the living room in prayer as he began his task.

After he had labored about four hours, I went downstairs to ask if there were anything I might do to assist him. He handed me a flashlight and asked me to shine it on his work area, since the sun had long since set. He labored on in the darkness, aided only by the light of the flashlight.

Finally, he achieved his goal. With the main breaker still off, he began to shut off all the individual breakers within his new load center. I was told that this would prevent a power surge. I stepped out of the work area into the basement as he flipped the main breaker on and began one-by-one flipping the individual breakers back to the on position.

The first two breakers didn't seem to cause any problem, but by the time the third and fourth breakers were turned on, things began to happen quickly. First, there was a "ph-ff-ff-ff-t" sound that raced across the basement towards the fluorescent light over the pool table. The light grew extremely bright and then went out completely. Immediately after that I heard a loud "pop" from somewhere up in the kitchen.

I knew that couldn't be good.

I walked back over to the work area where my husband stood facing his new load center. As I approached I heard him say, "Oh, Jesus!"

That is never a good sign.

With my flashlight still in hand, I quickly spotlighted my husband's face and calmly but sternly told him, "Put both hands in the air and step away from the box!" He quickly complied with my order and sighed a very weary, defeated sigh. "It's time", I told him, "to call in an expert before you fry yourself and everything in this house!"

I knew it was time for a voice of reason.

I immediately banned him from playing with electricity and we trudged our way upstairs and through a very dark house. Since this was Saturday night, we knew better than to contact an electrician, so after going out for some sandwiches, we simply put our weary bodies to bed and longed for daylight.

The next morning, I could tell he really wanted to get back into that box and see if he could fix the problem. I quickly reminded him that he had promised not to ever play with electricity again. He scanned through the phone book and found a very nice young man, a licensed electrician, who came out to our house on Sunday afternoon and undid all the damage. We were very fortunate that we lost only a clock radio in our kitchen; everything else works just fine. The electrician said we were extremely lucky.

So, with human genes being what they are, the question is, "Will my husband be able to leave the wiring alone?" The answer to the question lies in the fact that we are moving to another state soon and will be renting a very lovely apartment where management will do all the repair work. Then I can relax, knowing my husband will not run the risk of being electrocuted while performing another do-it-yourself project.

In honor of the occasion, I presented him with a very nice set of graphite golf clubs in the hope that this do-it-yourself gene will begin to undergo some type of mutation.

Case study closed.

Tags

Do-It-Yourself, Do-It-Yourself Diy, Do-It-Yourself Electrician, Electrical, Humor, Marriage

Meet the author

author avatar Diann Messer
Diann lives in Georgia with her husband of 43 years. She has been a freelance writer for more than 15 years, and is author of "Soul Song Hope and Healing for Survivors of Sexual Abuse". Amazon USA/UK

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Comments

author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
24th Sep 2012 (#)

When your husband reads this, Diann, he will get fully recharged for another assault but with positve results! siva

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
24th Sep 2012 (#)

Not me I stay away from electricity. Good story.

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
3rd Oct 2012 (#)

An excellent story. Why is it that men have to 'play' with stuff.

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