The Glazed Doughnuts Made Me Do It...

Count Sneaky By Count Sneaky, 22nd Mar 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/xys0-84s/
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

For pure, delicious, enjoyment nothing is quite so pure as glazed doughnuts...yum! But do we really know what goes into making
these circular delights. I thought not. Do we really want to know? Well, read on.

The Perfect Food?

Few of the delicious pleasures that life has to offer rival the glazed
doughnut. This sweet little sugar-coated life saver has been around since the late thirties, and breathes there anyone with soul so dead that they have never eaten one? I think not. We all grew up eating them and we still scarf them down and then deal with the guilt feelings as well as we can. By the next day, after putting away a
half-dozen, the guilt feelings have turned into pangs of pleasure at the thought of another six-pack of the chief comfort food of all...
THE GLAZED DOUGHNUT.

We Are What We Eat?

What does this have to do with the little round yum-yums you buy by the dozen? Well, when did you ever read the Nutrition Information
printed on the bottom or side of the boxes? Just the (sigh!) calorie count? I thought so. Well, why didn't you read the list of ingredients?
I see. You don't believe you are what you eat. Now then, next for you
guilt-ridden orgiasts, I would like to lay the list of ingredients on your
sugar-soaked souls.

What It Takes To Make Yum-Yum..

ORIGINAL GLAZED DOUGHNUT INGREDIENTS: Enriched Bleached Wheat Flour (Contains Beached Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Dextrose, Vegetable Shortening (Palm Oil, Cottonseed Oil,
Partially Hydrogenated Soybean Oil, and / or Hydrogenated Cottonseed Oil,) Water, Sugar, Soy Flour, Egg Yolks, Yeast,
Nonfat Milk, Yeast Nutrients (Calcium Sulfate, Ammonium Sulfate), Dough Conditioners (Calcium Dioxide, Monocalcium and Dicalcium Phosphate, Diammonium Phosphate, Sodium Stearoyl-2-Lactylate, Whey, Corn Starch, Ascorbic Acid, Sodium Bicarbonate, Calcium Carbonate), Salt, Mono-and Diglycerides, Ethoxylated Mono-and Diglycerides, Lethicin, Calcium Proportionate (Preservative), Cellulose Gum , Malted Barley Flour, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Enzymes, CItric Acid and BHT( To help protect flavor), GLAZE CONTAINS: Sugar, Water, Corn Starch, Calcium Carbonate, Calcium Sulphate, Agar, Dextrose, Locust Bean Gum, Disodium Phosphate, Sorbitan Monostearate, Mono-and Diglycerides,
Artificial Flavor and Salt. ALLERGY INFORMATION: CONTAINS WHEAT,SOY, EGG, AND MILK.

The Glazed Doughnuts Made Me Do IT

This then, for the unenlightened and indifferent, is a list of ingredients from a box of the most famous maker of glazed goodies on the market on the entire planet ( my assessment. )
Now, whether you believe you are what you eat...whether you can pronounce it or not...Here, have another!

Tags

Indulge, Indulgences

Meet the author

author avatar Count Sneaky
A retired art director, creative director, and blogger of "Count Sneaky's Journal" Will focus on humor writing.

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Comments

author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
28th Mar 2012 (#)

We were just at Tim Horton's yesterday, a Canadian donut joint.. I did have a glazed donut!
Great art too.

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author avatar Count Sneaky
29th Mar 2012 (#)

Only one? Mark ,my man.
I'll bet you carried a box of glazos to the car. You devil, you! Thanks. Count Sneaky

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author avatar Delicia Powers
15th Apr 2012 (#)

Very fun...great art work!!!

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author avatar Count Sneaky
5th May 2012 (#)

Thank you, and a box of delicious one to Delicia.

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