The Day I Fell

Inx By Inx, 2nd Dec 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/fyxj7iun/
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

But what came to pick us up was everything but her dad in a luxurious vehicle. It was their gardener in a dirty old pickup truck. The back being fully loaded with broken glass, tin cans and lintels. I did not want to sit there, so at the top of my lungs I yelled: "Shotgun!" And ran for the only passenger seat. And surely enough, halfway over there, I fell.

It's funny, okay?

I tend to easily laugh out loud for a lot of things. And I have quite a loud laugh, which makes all heads turn my way. Even in the most crowded places with booming music that makes your ears throb, you will hear my laugh. And there is one thing that makes me laugh more than anything in this world: people falling.
Now don't think that just ANY person can fall and I will find it funny. I'm quite selective over which falls I find funny. For instance, I do not find video clips like "funniest falls of 2009" or old people falling funny at all. But if my friend were to fall in front of me, I would laugh my socks off.

Miss Clumsybutt

I have a friend that is by far the clumsiest person I have ever met. In high school, not a day went by where she didn't knock something over, dropped something or fell down. One time she slipped and fell on the third floor of our school and dropped her brand new cellphone out of the window. I laughed. The phone didn't survive. I kept laughing. Of course I felt bad, but I just couldn't contain it! I was never able to contain my laughter when she fell. She has gotten some injuries in all of these falling processes and while I should have been helping her up off the ground, I was lying beside her, hugging my stomach with tears rolling down my face while feeling utterly guilty. Every. Single. Time.
But don't you worry, this bad person (aka me) got what was coming to her...

Karma is a Bitch

It was ninth grade. The last day of exams and the start of our holiday. We were a group of five friends who were going to one of the friends' house for a sleepover. This particular friend's dad's hobby was to buy and rebuild cars. Their front yard would always be full of these fancy cars which he would then rebuild to make them "better". I'd like to give you examples of which cars he rebuilt but since I know absolutely nothing about cars, I am unable to do so. But anyway, at that point in time he had rebuilt some kind of lavish car and my friend thought that he would pick us up in that, and thus impressing all the other kids idly waiting outside the school gate for their parents. But what came to pick us up was everything but her dad in a luxurious vehicle. It was their gardener in a dirty old pickup truck. The back being fully loaded with broken glass, tin cans sawdust and lintels. I did not want to sit there, so at the top of my lungs I yelled: "Shotgun!" And ran for the only passenger seat. And surely enough, halfway over there, I fell.

Shake It Off

I stood up just as quickly as I hit the ground and joined my friends and bystanders in their chorus of laughter (yes, when I fall it is funny as well). What made matters worse was that the passenger seat was already taken by the gardener's friend, so I ran and fell for nothing. After everybody was done laughing at me, I reluctantly lifted my leg to climb onto the back of the truck. I gave a little gasp when I saw blood streaming out of my knees and I realised I fell harder than I thought. My stomach-hurting laughter suddenly turned to nervous giggling when I saw the shocked faces of my friends. Especially my one friend who can't handle blood and was becoming this pale greenish colour that was intensifying by the second. Since I still wasn't feeling any pain yet, all my concern shifted to her and I started asking for a tissue or even a paper to clean up all the excess blood. But since it was the last day of school, nobody had either. One friend did, however, have a menstrual pad.
I laughed at the thought of my blood being cleaned up by a menstrual pad and I didn't think we were actually going to do it but surely enough it was on my knees soaking up the blood like a thirsty vampire. When it couldn't possibly soak up any more blood, and since it is quite an awkward object to hold in your hand even though it's covered in knee-blood and not the other kind, my friend tossed it on the side of the road before anyone could stop her. Oh what the poor pedestrians thought when they saw it... don't litter, kids.

The Cleaning of the Wound

I was becoming a bit drowsy from blood loss and while everybody's faces became dead serious, I was still giggling. We arrived at my friend's house and immediately everybody became concerned over what to do with my knees. It wasn't just a scraped knee that mommy could kiss better, nobody has ever dealt with this kind of injury before. Luckily we had enough sense to know that we should clean the wound. How we should clean it, however, was a completely different ball game. I was laid down on my friend's bed and everybody got to work. I'm not sure what they did exactly but in the end my knees where coated with some kind of ointment and wrapped in a bandage that kept falling off no matter what I did. Our fun was severely limited by my injury since I couldn't stand up by myself or walk any more than a few paces without wanting to sit down again. We ended up just watching a few movies and one by one everybody went to sleep, except me. Here's the thing: I can't fall asleep in any other position than lying on my stomach. And since that was impossible with me wanting to yelp with pain every time just a little pressure was applied to my knees, I kept squirming throughout the night trying to find a potential sleeping position. No dice. I became very bored and lonely. Or at least I was lonely until 4am when their pet parrot woke up and started reciting the many phrases that the household uses on a regular basis. I started missing the silence.

Daddy the Doctor

Eventually everybody woke up and I was saved from the longest night of my life! Everybody asked me how I felt, I lied and told them I was fine, when in reality my knees were now hurting more than ever before. I lifted the blanket off of me, only to reveal blood red knees. The wounds had become infected. I decided that I needed some professional help, in this case my Dad's help. I called my mom to come pick me up and she drove me straight to my dad's office. Luckily it was a quiet morning so there were no patients in the waiting room, I could go straight through to see him. He gave me one look and said: "Jesus, child. What did you do?" He had literally never seen a knee injury like that before. And this comes from a man who grew up on a farm and became a doctor!
He sprung to work. First he properly cleaned the wound. Then he treated he wound with variations of salves, gauze and bandages, prescribed me some antibiotics for the infection and sent me on my way.
I couldn't bend my knees with everything that my dad treated them with, not that I had any desire to bend them as it really hurt! But I did look a bit like a zombie when I walked which resulted in weird looks from every direction when I went to public places.

Moral of the Story

I'm not saying that you should stop poking fun at your friends or try to keep in your laughter whenever they do something stupid. All I'm saying is be prepared. The world has a funny way of making you feel the things you've inflicted onto others every once and a while. And it might seem harmless laughing at your friend when she falls down. But she fell down everyday. And I laughed every time. So life decided to combine all the times I've laughed at her falling down into one spectacular fall that caused me loads of pain and discomfort. But I deserved it. And really, this story is something I enjoy looking back on or talking about with friends when one of us randomly remembers it. It was one of the greater moments of our friendship and it will never stop being funny!

Tags

Blood, Cars, Dad, Doctor, Fall, Falling, Falls, Fell, Friend, Friends, High School, Injury, Karma, Knees, Laugh, Laughing, Laughter, Life, Parrot, Pickup Truck, School, Sleep, Stomach, Wound

Meet the author

author avatar Inx
Gamer. Daydreamer. Otaku. Bookworm.
"Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking."
Instagram - @inxypandapantz

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Comments

author avatar tafmona
18th Dec 2014 (#)

oh sorry, I really fear falling a lot

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