The Circus Comes to Town

Bobby Bazoo By Bobby Bazoo, 16th Apr 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

The comical goings-on of a seddy motel in town and the barker-esque musings of a taxi driver.

The Circus Comes to Town

When I first began driving a taxi, I thought I knew the streets pretty well. I couldn't have been more wrong. The company I drive for is in a city that has its share of gangs, pimps, hookers, drug addicts, thieves, and thugs. If that's not enough, honorable mention must go to the colorful array of hooligans, braggarts, brawlers, and bullies.

A former co-worker of mine was a retired police officer. He once told me there is a saying in law enforcement that goes, “There are only two kinds of people out at three in the morning, the cops and the crooks.” I never realized what an understatement that was.

In my first two or three years of driving, I worked the city until three or four in the morning. Occasionally, I was lucky enough to stay busy until dusk. I’ve always been a night owl, so the late hours didn’t bother me.

When business was slow, I spent my down time sitting in a gas station parking lot near one of the main intersections. It was a central location, and the main boulevard ran east and west directly in front of me.

I used to tell people it was like sitting in a theater and my windshield was the big movie screen. I watched the spectacle every night and believe me—it was worth the price of admission. I could watch all of it from the comfort of my cab.

Occasionally I got bored, and tried to synchronize the music on the car radio to the action happening right in front of me. If a brawl or an argument broke out, I tuned in to some heavy metal or hard rock. If someone on a bicycle gracefully rode by, I turned on some classical or opera music.

Most of the nocturnal activity occurred right across the street. There was a fast food restaurant on the southeast corner with a bus stop right in front of it. Next door to that was a budget motel. It had either the word "auto" or “lodge” in the title, I don’t remember which. There were rarely any cars in the parking lot. Almost every night, the city’s finest were there answering some sort of disturbance call, whether it was a domestic dispute or a violent crime.

On most nights, I was parked in the same spot, waiting for my next call and enjoying the show. The only thing missing was some soda, popcorn, and a man in a red coat with tails, black top hat, and a megaphone.

I could picture him standing in the middle of the intersection, announcing the next act that would come up on stage. With the spotlight beaming down on all the action, he would cry out like a huckster selling his wares.....

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Come one, come all! Maggie the Meth Freak will astound you! She's so skinny, when she turns sideways she disappears!”

Ah, yes. I can see it all now. The lights, the crowds, the animals, the sideshow freaks. I might have to leave and get more popcorn.

Wait a minute! He’s announcing another act!

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! Come one, come all! Let Sammy the Snout amaze you! This cocaine addict has a nose so big, he can inhale an entire city in one death-defying snort!”

Every night I was parked at that location, it didn’t take long before I was approached by someone asking me for loose change. Shortly after that, another lowly character would try to sell me some drugs. The scammers and swindlers were too numerous to count.

Uh-oh. I think I hear my favorite crier announcing another act. Hey! Down in front! Take your seat, lady! I'm trying to enjoy the show!

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! I am pleased to introduce you to Louie the Lifter! He won't steal your heart! He won't steal your wife! He won't steal your girlfriend, but he will steal your wallet! Watch him as he uses his deft touch to rid innocent bystanders of their money and valuables! All in the blink of an eye!"

Ah, yes. The streets. Where bizarre is common and the oddities are endless. If you ever decide to drive a taxi, make sure you bring plenty of popcorn.

Remember, the show must go on. It always will.


Circus, Driver, Motel, Taxi, Town

Meet the author

author avatar Bobby Bazoo
Originally from the Boston, MA area, Bobby Bazoo has many years of experience working in the field of safety and security. When not writing about his adventures, Bobby investigates corporate fraud.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
17th Apr 2015 (#)

Reality of life at the ground level and taxi drivers know more than most! Nice share - siva

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