Stupid story - School assembly, forgiveness

weewaaweewaa By weewaaweewaa, 11th May 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

One day i was bored. So i listened to assembly and thoughts started in my head. So what did i think of? Here it is:

Assembly is crap...

Everybody knows that assembly is crap and should totally be cancelled... But yet we still do it. Why? We have absolutely no idea. Ok. Maybe because of the gahmen(government) and crap like that. but still, why the hell do we have to waste minutes waiting for assembly ( 10~20 for me) + assembly standing time? I could have gotten 40 minutes extra sleep...

Well. But i do listen to what the assembly says mainly because there's nothing else to do. The most i can do is play around with those dirt in your eye and dart around chasing it... Wikipedia tells me those are floaters and apparently people are bored enough to research on stuff like this...

So, today, the principal told a story of... What was the theme again? Oh, right. Forgiveness or something like that.


John was bored and had nothing to do, so he decided to kick rocks on the old grandma's(his neighbor) window instead of doing more constructive things like playing with his friends... If he had friends. He worked as a newspaper delivery boy, by the way. No idea why he was not working and kicking rocks, but yeah. So the window broke...

Window broke... Did you say Window?!

Oh... Wait. Wrong Window.

So everyday John was guilty about it, and continued delivering newspapers to that Grandma. And so... he decided to save up money, and secretly slip in his money at night as an envelope into her letter box. So why did he wait until at night and not just pretending to slip into her letter box as part of the newspaper delivery? Probably cause his stupid. Thats why.

Not as dumb as this kid though...

So the next day, as John delivered the newspaper to the grandma, the grandma stopped him and gave him some cookies. John took the cookies and happily munched on it while walking. Whether or not he ditched his job to eat cookies is not of importance now.


He ate the cookies and bit something strange... so he took it out and see what it is.

Then he fainted and died as he realized that it was actually a hidden poison needle meant to kill him. It was instant death...

Probably better than dying like this kid though...

No just kidding.

He took it out and saw that it is an envelope with his money inside. The letter said something about... I can't remember, but you should know... its cliche stuff...

Hold a damn minute...

I don't know what year it is... but i'm pretty sure cookies are pretty small. No way money and envelope can fit inside! Unless you're probably evil and decide to tear the money up to tiny pieces and put them inside each cookie, so that the boy can watch as his money got torn away and cry as he ate them and die.

That grandma might have looked like this.

If she was evil.
''EATh THISh! You Fugger!''...
By the way, is this counted as infringement of wikinut terms? Yes? I'm sorry grandma... but its just a finger... don't mind... DON'T MIND! =D... Alright i get it please put that finger down...

And why the hell does people like to do round about things like putting the envelope inside those cookies instead of just giving him back straight?! Why put it inside the cookie?!

So what happened to the cookies?!

But remember, the cookie is more important then the money.

I would like to think that the grandma is truly evil. The story ended where it seemed like it was fine. The truth is that those cookies were expired, hence explaining why she decided to suddenly give cookies. Later the boy got sent to the hospital for excessive and explosive diarrhea and got his body scanned. Traces of money were found inside his body, all torn up. If those were coins, it is still some pretty deep shit. Then the boy died of diarrhea.

Yeah, you can die of diarrhea.


Assembly, Cookies, Forgiveness, Grandma, School, Story, Stupid, Window

Meet the author

author avatar weewaaweewaa
Nothing much about me. I'm a boring normal person. My writings will include random stuff, i guess. Comment if you like it =).

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