Student Government; The Big Red Button That Does Nothing

kaylarStarred Page By kaylar, 23rd Mar 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

The truth about student government as learned during my sojourn in 9 - 7

Organisation of a School

At my Junior High, the grade was signified by the first number, the class by the second.
All the grades had six classes.

There was (1) which was super bright and (6) which was super dunce.

Stating what class you were in was being branded.

(These are in the ancient days before Political Correctness where the worst kids are allowed to destroy the best in some sense of equalisation.)

There had never been a '7' class number.
Until now.

9 - 7

To find one's self assigned to 9 -7, (at first) suggested a badly written 1.
After all, there was no "7". Until that September morning.
Until that September Morning when there was suddenly a yellow alert on the asphalt of the 'play ground' where we were to line up before being marched into school .
Some kids tried to smuggle themselves behind the 9 - 1 line were plucked out and shipped across to Siberia.

Where other kids had classrooms, we were brought to an unused language laboratory which had partitions between the seats.

I would of cried but that would have certified me a 'punk' and since I had spent my days in eight grade pretending I was bad, I couldn't dare it.

I had seen the other kids when we had filed in, couldn't see them now.
Couldn't see anyone except the teacher at the front of the room.

She looked like Bambi in the headlights.

The rest of the kids were a rat bag of 'lifers' (kids who had been left back twice) others who were fated to die by electric chair, if not shot first, Kids who didn't know the days of the week.

These were the bright sparks.

As the School Turns

It didn't take us long to realise we were the Gitmo of the school.

We were there because we hadn't done anything bad enough to be expelled, (expulsion was practiced in those ancient days so that kids who came to school to fight, sell drugs, and kill teachers were removed from the campus), we weren't all that stupid so as to be tossed among the toe counters of 9 - 6, we were just there.

We were just there, confined in our prison Homeroom, then allowed to infest the school during class changes, and pretty much treated as lepers.

Hence we decided to take no part in anything.

Student Government

For some reason schools practice this farce called "Student Government".
I don't know its purpose, because the 'elected' 'government' does nothing except meet. I suppose it is an advanced course in Robert's Rules of Order.

We vaguely heard about Student Government, but being 9 - 7 didn't pay it the least bit of attention until Shortshanks, the Vice Principal, burst into our classroom one morning.

The Admin

I'm sure there was a Principal at the school. I just can't remember the name.
This is probably because he was never seen nor heard, but did sign expulsion
letters or those begging money.

I am sure he had been carted out at some assembly meeting, but being 9 - 7
we sat way in the back, guarded by a battalion of prefects to prevent mayhem, so I couldn't really see him. As we kept up a constant gabble I couldn't hear him either.

Most of the interaction between Admin and students was done via Shortshanks.
He was an energetic guy who felt sorry he hadn't died in some war to prove his patriotism.

That was his main shill; patriotism, followed by nationalism, followed by School Spirit.

We didn't have to ponder why he'd burst into 9 - 7

The Confrontation

Shortshanks jumped onto the platform at the front of the unused language
laboratory 9 - 7 used as a homeroom and began to bellow about patriotism, nationalism and School Spirit.

A chap (name withheld) rose to his feet and confronted the Vice Principal.

"You are so wrong, Sir! Nine Seven has already elected its representatives!"

Then he called out the name of our Pharmacist, (name withheld) who had been left back twice, deliberately, as he had a very lucrative business at the school.

The Pharmacist now stood, thanking the class for their faith in him, while Shortshanks turned various colours, including puce.

When the Pharmacist finished speaking, Shortshanks took a last look at 9 - 7
before high tailing it out of town.

The Result

At the first meeting of Student Government, the Pharmacist was elected

Although many of the other kids had intended to cast their ballot otherwise they understood the dangers inherent in improper voting.

The Pharmacist was now the President of the Student Body and the power
went to his head. He decided to implement a number of very significant changes.
(none of which can be repeated here)

The Admin decided to dissolve Student Government.
And leave 9 - 7 out of any further School Spirit activities.


Big Red Button, Class, Education, Problem Class, School, Student Government

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author avatar kaylar
I am passionate about history, culture, current events, science and law

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author avatar Jerry Walch
24th Mar 2011 (#)

An interesting and amusing read. Kaylar we need to ban together and dissolve all these spammers.

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author avatar kaylar
24th Mar 2011 (#)

Jerry, I'm thinking of creating a forum and attaching it....we can get a free one on invisionfree I think...

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author avatar Jerry Walch
24th Mar 2011 (#)

Kaylar, let me know if you do, I'll stand with you shoulder to shoulder.

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author avatar kaylar
25th Mar 2011 (#)

This is it...

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author avatar kaylar
27th Mar 2011 (#)

If the Spammers could only Network my stuff it would be a fine symbiotic relationship.

I expect the Spam to be up until the 30th...seems the owners only arrive once a week...prob to check revenue

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author avatar Greenfaol
27th Mar 2011 (#)

Excellent read my friend, most excellent. Brian and i were laughing as we read :D
Totally agree with you guys re spammers. It's way beyond a joke. i think a lot of writers will desert the ship if it goes on much longer xx

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author avatar kaylar
27th Mar 2011 (#)

A hit is a hit is a hit. Hence three Spammers = 3 hits; 30 Spammers = 30 hits.

Put it like this; there are very few publishing sites which don't give the author the right to delete or deny.

When the Spam/Troll community realises the Gold Mine at Wiki we'll be getting hundreds of Spam hits a DAY

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author avatar Denise O
1st Apr 2011 (#)

I guess I am just not as popular as y'all, as I have only been hit once since I joined. A very fun and interesting read my friend. I popped in on y'all's site yesterday and registered. If I have time today I will pop back in, if not I will be hitting it tomorrow. As always, thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar kaylar
1st Apr 2011 (#)

Denise you have to participate over we can get to know each other and share ideas

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