Special Edition. Sayings which dont make any sense (Almost)

Karim Giblett By Karim Giblett, 25th Jul 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3lxalir5/
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

A special edition of sayings that are not true. This article covers the word Almost with funny list of common used sayings ad why they are useless

Almost

Almost is one of those words the human races uses too much now what I am about to say is a quote so might want to write it down; "Using the word Almost is an attempt to give importance to something which never happened". Which if you think about it is true and I will prove it by the following examples.

Examples of Almost

"I almost won the lottery" - "well then your still poor"
"I almost lost my leg" - "well then your leg is still attached"
"I almost fell off a cliff" - "sooo... your still on the cliff"
"you almost hit my car!" - "then that means our car's did not even touch each other"
"I almost got the job" - "then you didn't get the job"
"I almost got first place" - "then that means you did not actually get first place"
"ahh you almost hit me" - "that means our bodies never actually touched"
"you almost scared me" - "so...are you scared or not?"
"I almost died" - "well then your still alive!"
"I almost lived!" - "erm...zombie?"
"I almost completed the level" - "then... hit restart maybe"
"I almost bought it" - "then you don't have it"
"I am almost good looking" - "then your ugly"
"I almost got that turkey" - "then you have'nt got that turkey"
"I am almost a millionaire" - "then your not a millionaire"
"I almost got a date with her" - "then you don't have a date with her"
"I almost had sex" - "why are you telling me this I dont want to know"
"I almost have a pubic hair" - "seriously stop telling me this crap!"

Fights

So you can see how Almost can really trip people up and I have seen people get in fights over something for something which never actually happened.
For example people will get in a fight because "you almost hit my car!", well the both cars are fine and yet people are fighting effectively over nothing. Seriously its not worth fighting over nothing.

Could Have

"Could have" is just the same as almost for example "I could have died" is the same as "I almost died". You can see how these two sentences mean exactly the same thing.

And Another Thing...

And another thing.... yes I know my rant into the english language is F-I-N-A-L-Y over but I figured I would bring this to a close with this. The word "Almost" is a spy and like to take on disguises. Often we see the world almost disguised as "Might have", "Could have", "Would Have", "Will do", "might", "maybe" and etc.
The main reason for my rant is this. Life is too precious to spend all your life complaining about stuff that might have and never actually did happen. There is no need to complain about trivial crap so please try to do good with your words.

Earlier Stories

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Tags

Ever Lie, Phobia, Sayings In Society, Stupid Sayings, Tales, Tales Of Lying, Telling Children Where Babies Come From, Telling Kids Where Babies Come From, White Lies

Meet the author

author avatar Karim Giblett
Karim Giblett was born in the Hounslow Middlesex. He is a young author who battled Dyslexia for years before overcoming it at the age of twelve and within two years he started writing his first book.

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Comments

author avatar cnwriter..carolina
26th Jul 2014 (#)

love this indeed and if the truth be known (and it aint!!!) what does make sense...

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author avatar Peter B. Giblett
28th Jul 2014 (#)

One word I wish you would not use is "CR**".

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