Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 10th Mar 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

An old man shocks a courtroom with his confession.

A day in court like none other

A couple of years back, a friend and I were victims of a housebreaking. There’s nothing worse than having an invasion of privacy at the place where you expect to be most secure. The police came and an investigation was done, but ultimately nothing came of it at the time. For a bit, that incident traumatized the both of us but thankfully, we moved on.

Fast forward a couple of months later, the investigating officer contacted us with the news that they had a suspect and a trial was coming up. Because we were directly involved in the incident, we would have to testify in court.

The trial date arrived and my friend and I, along with our lawyer, met up at the courthouse a bit earlier than the time that our trial would begin to run through what’s going to happen. After that was done, the three of us went in to the court just to pass time and observe courtroom etiquette.

First case was a run off the mill assault charge; dude was denying that he had done it while the state witness placed the accused at the scene of the crime.

Case postponed.

Next case was domestic dispute; basic he said, she said. Cops who responded to the dispatch got called in and he gave his testimony.

Case postponed.

As we were bored and were discussing leaving and returning, the next case caught our attention.

The bailiff called out the case number and while the prosecutor made his way to the front of the court to present his case, an elderly man (roughly late 50s, early 60s) made his way up to the defendant's box (the spot where the accused stands).

The bailiff read out the charge (damage to property) and we were wondering to ourselves just how much damage did the old man to end up in court.

Little did we know just what the hell was in store for us…

The prosecutor did his best to be discreet about the nature of damage, but when he called upon the star witness (the owner of said property), the shocking details were revealed.

The witness got called up, gave background to who he is, what he does, and was asked to explain what he saw with regards to the night in question.

This man started boiling in rage when he began to explain what happened:

The witness is a farmer who keeps his animals segregated into different sections of the farm whereas his house is a couple of hundred meters away.

One Friday night, the farmer went out with his family for a dinner. When they came back, he saw one of his sheep roaming about. Thinking that there must have been a hole in his gate, he took the sheep to return it to the sheep enclosure. While he was walking along, he encountered more and more of his sheep just roaming about.

Confused, he hurried to the enclosure to see just what the hell was going on.

When he got to the enclosure, he was shocked to find that the gate that was opened with the lock broken off. Knowing that there was no way in hell his sheep could break the lock; he figured that there might’ve been an intruder so he ran back to his house to collect his gun.

The farmer came back to hear some noise emitting from the enclosure (something to the effect of a sheep in distress). He cocked his gun and went in, prepared to gun down some thieves, but said he was not prepared for the scene that he found;

In the closure, the farmer found the defendant engaging in…carnal activities with one of his sheep.

The court's collective jaw was on the floor.

My friend and I cracked a couple of ribs laughing at the absurdity of the situation. Understand that where I come from, things such as bestiality aren’t prominent or frequent crimes so such an outrageous claim would garner reactions.

The presiding judge was visible flustered and took a while to restore order in the court.

The prosecutor asked the witness a couple more questions but the people in the courtroom were long past caring about what the farmer was saying and were clamoring to hear from the accused.

When it was the old man’s turn to state his side of the story, he didn’t disappoint;

The old man outright admitted to what he had done. He confessed that ever since he was a child, he had a fetish for bestiality and was waiting for a chance to try it out.He went on to say that the chance came when he befriended the man and found out he was a farmer. He couldn’t immediately act on his impulses, so he chose to get to know the man, his schedule, and in which section he places each type of animal. Once he noted all key information (including that Fridays were the days when the farmer knocked off early), he put his plan in place and set out to the task.

He went on to describe in vivid detail the interactions he had with the sheep. He had no shame or remorse whatsoever in recounting what had happened. His attorney was embarrassed beyond words, the judge was disgusted as all hell, and the court was hanging on to his every word out of morbid curiosity. As he was going on about how “the sheep bleated softly into the warm night” and “how warm and inviting the sheep’s wool was alongside his cold, naked body”, the farmer turned beet red and fumed in silence while giving the old man the death glare.

The craziest part was that the guy seemed to get a bit too excited reliving that night.The judge had to shush him down and order a recess just for the atmosphere in the courtroom to return to normal.

When things had cooled off from the recess, the judge showed leniency to the old man (ordered him to pay a fine equivalent to the sheep’s worth, and undergo some therapy) and sent him on his way.

The way I was laughing so hard, there were moments where I had gasp for air. We had to step out of the courtroom frequently so that we wouldn’t disturb proceedings.

It was both the most disturbing and hilarious experience I ever had.

While our case didn’t go as well as expected (not enough evidence), I am still thankful for the housebreaking, as I wouldn’t have known about our hometowns elderly sexual deviant.

F.Y.I: The farmer and the elderly man moved out of town, and case went on to be part of local folklore.


Bestiality, Court, Sheep, Trial

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
14th Mar 2017 (#)

Strange indeed are human fetishes. I have seen on video elephants after rhinos when they are in musth - siva

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author avatar Memba Ben
14th Mar 2017 (#)

Hi Siva,

they are strange indeed.

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author avatar Mariah
14th Mar 2017 (#)

I couldn't agree with you more absolutely disgusting state of affairs but totally hilarious.. I was in bits laughing at this. thanks for sharing the joy
ha ha ha!

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author avatar Memba Ben
15th Mar 2017 (#)

Hi Mariah.

It would be a tragedy to not share such a story.

Thanks for reading.

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