Region Matters

Coletha Albert By Coletha Albert, 19th Feb 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

With all the many details to cause disunity, hostility and distrust - here's another one, regions.

Where are you from?

This is a question that until recently, I deemed sourced as curiousity. Well, now I know it is a "loaded" question. It shouldn't be. This is the United States of America, emphasis on "united", however, we are far from it...When introducing yourself to a new group, you are afforded the opportunity to stand, tell your name, how you heard about the group and where you are from. When visiting a new church, it's always:

"First giving honor to God, My name is Coletha Albert and I am a member at Church by the Side of the Road in Tukwila, Washington, my Pastor is Bishop Proctor. While I live in Seattle, Washington, I am originally from Houston, Texas. I am visiting with my friend Sister Elizabeth Chalmers and her family and I am very happy and blessed to be here!"

Where upon, the Pastor gives a hearty hello with the congregation: "Welcome, God bless you for visiting with us today!"

Now, this is routine in my experience. I know the proper ettiquette and I follow it to the letter. To me, it was just a formal introduction to the Pastor and congregation and during meet and greet those who approached me would already know my name, who had invited me. I assumed that portion about where I am from was just filler information. Au contrare, it means something and obviously to many folks and now even to me...why? Well, I am glad you asked!!

Here's the skinny

Okay, let me say, I am from Texas. The reason I am from Texas and not currently living there should be self explanatory. So, here's the long and the short of it. If you are in Texas, and you are a Black woman, you are humiliated publicly, disrespected or ignorred. If you are in Texas and you are a Black man, you are placed on the fast track to death row as soon as you are registered in the first grade in a public school. As I gave birth to two little Black boys whom I love, my first priority was to spirit them away from Texas as soon as possible before the harassment really took hold and killed all the optimism they were given at birth.

So, I burned rubber out of Texas as soon as my ex and the judge could revise and update my custody paperwork. While the ink was still wet on my paperwork, I was crossing the Texas border with both my sons without so much as a glance in the rearview mirror! I got pulled over several times and given three tickets by Texas State Troopers as I drove down I-10 heading west on cruise control. No laws were broken, my car was totally street legal, however, I was pulled over several times and had to stand there while they eyeballed my sons and wrote me up for bogus tickets. Once, I crossed the state line out of Texas, I was never pulled over again. Seriously, this is true. Region matters.

In 2013

I used to think that Texans were just ignorrant, or had some serious self hatred happening...but oh no... I live in Seattle and I meet folks from all over the place. Case in point, New Yorkers, they truly are pushy, arrogant and inconsiderate of others. They don't mean any harm, this is just "normal" for their region. Californians, well the whole west coast really, REALLY love their pot. I can't even communicate with them positively unless there's weed in their system. If you are speaking to someone who is really negative and pessimistic and you are on the West Coast, this most likely means they are sober...not everyone but most. I won't even discuss folks from North Carolina but a smidge; cranky, love to physically fight and really, REALLY stupid with a tinge of MONSTROUS. Enough said...

So, so, so Dr. Cornel West who teaches at Princeton, a philosopher slash complainer. He has something negative to say about President Obama yet again. He is from Tulsa "Sticks" Oklahoma. It has got to be one of the most God-awful states in America and I mean the continent not just the country!! Yet, there Cornel West is "clucking and flapping" just like an old fussy hen about things he couldn't possibly "know" anything about... Why?

Well, he's from Tulsa. Region Matters...Every day, I try to be a credit to my race, a credit to my home state of Texas, a credit to my faith, and a credit to my family and friends. I try wholeheartedly to put my best foot forward and when I fail, some folks give me leaway because they understand that sometimes I am out of sorts. Ah, human kindness, the elixir of a beautiful life! Not embarrassing yourself and your whole family tree keeps your muscles toned, your teeth white, your hair thick and your mind fresh. For REAL!! (Smile)

I am from Texas, where are you from??


East Coast, Midwestern Region, Pacific Northwest, Southern United States, West Coast

Meet the author

author avatar Coletha Albert
I am a native of Texas who has lived in California and Iraq. Currently living in Seattle, WA, USA and author of three books; Hell in Houston, Sunbeams and Carnal.

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
19th Feb 2013 (#)

As a former California pothead but now merely a Californian, I loved your article. Glad you're out of Texas. Glad I never went to Texas except to drive through the Panhandle with only a single stop for gas.

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author avatar Coletha Albert
25th Feb 2013 (#)

I know right? I am so glad that I no longer live there and I never visit either....

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