Public Servant Zarathruster

Zarathruster By Zarathruster, 8th May 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

This article is a recollection of the public service activities of Zarathruster in his local community.

Public Servant Zsrathruster

Public Servant Zarathruster

The ZURF Act

For Zarathruster reflected on the plight of the unemployed and specifically the underemployed in America. The problem was pervasive and seemed to have no end. Many were unemployed yet more were underemployed - they had jobs, just not making anywhere near the income level of what they were accustomed to. There must be a solution to this malady! Going ' back to school' to further ones education via debt accumulation did not seem the path to take. Sending out over 100 resume's per week for several months with targeted cover letters also yielded less than desirable results. Many of these unfortunates even reduced their expected compensation amounts by as much as 40% and still were not able to find work let alone an interview. These were indeed strange times and Zarathruster knew he must come to the aid of the perplexed public in the arena of employment.

Since the current unemployment benefit offered to the unlucky ones was typically 25% of ones past income, Zarathruster came upon the idea of a combination of benefits to help in the interim of ones career path. After speaking with many of the employment challenged individuals, Zarathruster realized that they all seemed to suffer from a mental malady of sorts. The malady was characterized by a depression, a lingering unease and a black and white view of the world that was once bright color during their former employed lives. Zarathruster saw this illness as a disability and directly tied to their unemployed state. Many of them lost track of days, could not sleep at night and were overly irritable and prone to angry outbursts - this was a most definite disability! A temporary solution to this malaise lay in the declaring of unemployment as a partial disability from which a minor supplemental disability benefit could be paid to the disaffected individuals. Zarathruster calculated that if the current unemployment benefit was 25% of ones income and a partial, temporary disability benefit of 15% of ones income could be paid to the unemployed and the underemployed, it would be a great help to them. The adversely affected individuals could then afford to keep a roof over their heads and not be cast out into the street thereby not becoming a further burden to society. This was the solution Zarathruster was looking for and was submitted to the authorities as 'Zarathrusters Unemployment Relief Fund'. The 'ZURF' Act was formerly submitted to the State legislature and is awaiting approval.


A few years ago, Zarathruster attended a cub scouts meeting on behalf of his step-son to help the boy and make a positive difference in his community. When the group of adults was asked " "...who will be the Den Leader?", they all looked to Zarathruster and he became a Den Leader. This he did however not without reservation and ideas for the betterment of the program. The program itself was well structured yet poorly administered. The boys were not given the full latitude and ability to grow as young men. Classroom work and crafts are not the purview of young men, they needed to be outdoors competing and exploring, not doing macrame and all manner of home bound crafts. As Den Leader, Zarathruster had the young ones outside as much as possible learning basic survival skills. His methods were questioned yet he persevered. Zarathruster rejected the accepted protocol of forcing the young ones to sell overpriced popcorn in a door to door sales scheme. This he saw as exploitative and downright dangerous. Let them grow up first and learn about working people over in badly planned scams later. Food drives and car washes were better uses of a scouts' time. The scouting association went to great lengths to hypnotize the innocent ones to sell popcorn via brainwashing videos. The videos were truly hypnotic and consisted of repitition and mantra like sayings of "popcorn...sell popcorn...sell more popcorn.."...over and over..They were brainwashing our kids! Thus began the end of Zarathrusters association with the scouting authorities. After Zarathrusters absence, it was confirmed that multiple parents and kids preferred Zarathrusters methods over the corporate scouting culture.

Beating back the Jackals of the Land

Public action on behalf of prospective development efforts near ones primary residence can be necessary in times of unbridled land grabs. Zarathruster chose the land he lives on for reasons of privacy and the inability for development to commence behind him or on either side of his property.

The first attempt to overrun our island of peace commenced in 2006. Fortunately, a county engineer and a retired road builder live in the affected area and were highly vocal in the ensuing city planning meetings. City Council meetings were attended and neighbors were encouraged to speak publicly of their concerns. Zarathruster expressed his concern as to increased traffic flow in a residential area while the engineer and road builder hammered through factual evidence of the infeasibility of the plan. Zarathruster demanded a copy of the 180 page traffic study which was used as a resource to counter the land grabbers. The local roads were already a pet killing field and a additional 128 trips per day would only add to the carnage. Next, the developer invited us to a "get to know River City Homes" planning meeting. They had the entire project scoped out with artist renderings and such, as well as a pre-planned speech designed to sway our interests toward their agenda. The local citizenry presented a united front against these interlopers and successfully beat back the jackals of the land. The same scenario was repeated by another developer in 2009 and was subsequently beaten down. Zarathruster is a locally known proponent and defender of his section of the community and will remain as such. be continued


Neighborhood, Neighborhood Relations, Public Relations, Public Service

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Internationally Acclaimed Writer of Satire and Human Interest

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