Peter Parker goes to Hogwart part 11

John Connor By John Connor, 17th Nov 2012 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

My life wasn't going too well from the start. Now, a spider bit me on my arms and a big bad Hagrid came crashing to my house and told me that I am a wizard. The problem is, my name wasn't Harry Potter. My name was Peter Parker.

Slytherin or Gryffindor ?

We went through the door toward the Great Hall. But it didn't surprise me as much. The hall was big and bright with luminous light. The walls were made out of expensive white stones. Everyone's gaze was directed upward toward the magnificent ceiling which showed the stars in the night sky twinkling above them, and a bright full moon in clear sight. As we walked to the center of the hall, I realized that there were hundreds of students seated in the hall, divided by four very long House tables. Everyone's eyes were directed toward the 1st year students. I blushed a little.

Professor McDonald addressed us to stop. I glanced at the three-legged wooden stool placed in front of us. A crappy looking wizard hat sat on it. Teachers and staff sat behind the long marble table at the front. A tall-looking old man, probably the headmaster, sat in the middle of the table. A black-haired, oil-faced, hook-nosed, criminal-looking teacher was sitting beside him. He looked at me and our eyes met. And in that exact moment I knew that he wasn't a friendly teacher. He looked like he was about to kill me.

" Before we begin, the headmaster has something to say, " Professor McDonald announced.

The old men stood and I realized that he had all the appearance of a wizard. Long white beard, tall height, a round spectacle for his eyes, and a black robe. He was the typical wizard.

" Welcome to Hogwarts, my dear students, " he welcomed. " I just wanted to say that you have no reason to be afraid in this school of wizardry. This school is perfectly safe, " he paused for a bit and said, " Except for the black forest full of dangerous creatures, except for the secret chamber inhibited by a giant anaconda snake that can kill you with a single lick, except for the dangerous teachers hired to care of you, this school is perfectly safe. " Then he sat on his chair and an eerie silent crept into the hall.

Professor McDonald broke the silence. " Let's begin the sorting ceremony. I will call your names and you will come forward to be sorted into your house. "

With one hand holding the sorting hat and another holding a piece of paper, she called Hermione Granger. To my surprise, it was the scared girl from the train. She went forward, her face looked nervous as hell. She sat on the wooden stool and Professor McDonald placed the sorting hat on her head. I didn't knew what was going on.

" Aha. Right. Just right. You are smart. You are a nerd. But you break the rules. "

I almost screamed. The friggin hat actually talked.

" GRYFFINDOR, " it screamed. Hermione smiled in relief and ran toward the Gryffindor table.

The process continued. Draco Malfoy was placed in Slytherin. Ron the Jerk was placed in Gryffindor. Finally, Professor McDonald called my name. " Harry Potter. "

It became completely silent in the hall the moment my name were called. The teachers, especially the headmaster, looked at me in interest. It was like everybody had an eye on me. I walked forward, my leg shaking a bit. I looked at Professor McDonald and she looked at me. Our eyes met and I sat on the stool. Professor McDonald placed the hat on my head.

" Hmmm, difficult, " it said, " very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. A tendency to prove yourself. But the question is, where to put you. "

Not Gryffindor. Ron is in Gryffindor. Not Gryffindor, I thought in my heart.

" Not Slytherin eh, " the hat said.

What the hell. It read my mind wrong. I said not Gryffindor. Ron the Jerk is in Gryffindor.

" Are you sure? You can become famous in Slytherin. "

Then put me into Slytherin, damn it.

" GRYFFINDOR, " the hat screamed.

My life sucks.


Comedy, Harry Potter, Humour, Parodies, Parody, Spiderman

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author avatar John Connor
I love to write!!!! That's all for now :D

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