Pain and Gain

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 1st Mar 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

A decision every drunk has faced at some point or another: himself or his beer.

Is it worth it?

Because I was having one hell of a rough day, I decided to go pay my old stomping ground (the Merry Men pub) a visit and buy a pint of lager to calm my nerves.

I got in and instantaneously, the place came to life. All these old, forgotten faces were causing memories to flood back.

Nostalgia was kicking in.

On the left; Chucky, the mad drunk. On the right was SD, a legend of the the place. Suffice to say, when I saw my old mates, I missed these drunk,merry, toothless ugly bastards.

The gang convinced me to share a round with them "for old times sake", and soon, one turned to endless. Everybody was merrily singing along to the noise emanating from an old pile of rubbish we called a jukebox.

Eventually, it came to me to go get the next round. Now, it must be stated that back in the day, at this point, I'd be a functional drunk, but after years of retirement from the game, my tolerance had decreased.

I was dead on my feet.

So there I was, trudging along towards the bar like some zombie when the barmaid sees me. She thinks I've hit my limit.

"What madness is this? Give me another!"

The boys hear my foolish boast and enable me with thunderous applause.

Satisfied that I proved my grit, the lady handed me the pint and sent me on my merry way. However, while I was walking along, I stumbled and lost my footing.

At this point, time slowed down as I was tumbling to the floor, pint first.

Like every drunk who's been in this position, I knew that I needed to make a decision, do I sacrifice the pint and let it shatter across the concrete floor, along with my hopes of enjoying that sweet ale? Or do I take the brunt of the fall, lose my dignity, embarrass myself but at the same time, prolong my pints lifespan?

As I was hurtling closer to the floor, I remembered all the times I got injured and let my body recover.

This was going to have to be another...

I landed in a heap, with all my limbs but one spread out on the floor like some damn starfish. With this came a roar of laughter across the entire pub.

However, despite the pain, despite the embarrassment, and despite my dirty linen, I was relieved that I saved that pint.

As I fought against gravity, the pub cheered me back to my feet and when that crisp,refreshing lager cascaded down that dry ravine I call my throat, I knew...

It was all worth it.


Beer, Beer Drinking, Falling

Meet the author

author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

For more content, head to:

Share this page

moderator Peter B. Giblett moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


author avatar Mariah
14th Mar 2017 (#)

Too the banter

Reply to this comment

author avatar Memba Ben
15th Mar 2017 (#)

Hi Mariah.

Thanks for the kind words.

Reply to this comment

author avatar LOVERME
30th Mar 2017 (#)

Nostalgia was kicking in.
i rarely drank in pubs but yes in clubs My experience is this .First one by a friend second one return then say thank you guys my time flies So now i say good byes the third drink within me only flys and any more none will know what happens till next day your wallet speaks damn it only five dollars left where did all the rest flee along with the drinks others had wit me so nostalgia is lovely next time have drinks two only
was kicking in you.

Reply to this comment

Add a comment
Can't login?