Obey your Thirst

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 15th Nov 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

A time when my thirst almost led me to make a terrible decision.

Listen to your body...

I once had a thing going on with a girl who I thought was the one. I'd met her at the local bookshop, and I had been talking to her for quite a while before she actually agreed to meet up, so I already knew her in and out and what made her tick. We had previously gotten cozy with one another and she had dropped hints of wanting more so
I was confident that on date night, things were going to the next level. For most of the day leading up to our date, I was amped to the max.

The time came for our date, and she stopped texting me back. I waited an hour and texted her again. This time, she replied but had bad news; she wasn’t going to be able to make it. At that point, I was disappointed, sad, and of course: thirsty.

To solve this issue, I decided that the best solution was go online and find a quick hookup for the night since that seemed like the only shot I had of getting laid that night. I put up an ad and then started texting ladies within the city.

The more I looked at their pictures and imagined having relations with these women, the thirstier I got. It got to a point where it became hard for me to type because my hands were quivering so badly. To my disappointment, no women replied.

OK, that’s not entirely true…

I DID get a message from an older lady (roughly 46 years old). She saw my ad and wanted to engage in relations with me.

Now, initially, I ignored it. After all, while I’m not picky when it comes to women, I’d prefer that they not be so close to my own mother’s age. But after continuing to receive no replies from any other women, my thirst got the better of me.

I replied to her. She replied back and it was weird to say the least. I never had anyone want relations with me so badly. I wasn't necessarily turned on by the thought of engaging in coitus with an older lady, but feeling wanted like that was intoxicating.

My train of thought went from “I can’t do this, she’s my mother’s age!” to “Fuck it, might as well...”

My thirst got the better of my judgment and I got thirstier.

I’m talking beer-goggles type of thirsty.

Dangerously thirsty.

You’re-going-to-regret-this type of thirsty.

What happened next was out of my control. Somehow, my body figured out my intentions and decided to stop me before I did something I would regret.

I momentarily blanked out and before I could stop myself, I was jacking off.

I didn't want to, but my body wouldn't let me not get off, and it was going to use my hand to do it. I wasn't thinking about anything or anyone.

I was just getting off.

My penis felt like a shaken up can of Coke that finally got opened to release the pressure.

It was probably the biggest, most intense and satisfying release I have ever had.

Right after I finished, the chemicals cleared out of my brain which left me a lot more clearheaded, and I immediately lost all desire to have relations with the lady. I told her that I couldn't go through with it and since haven’t put myself in such a situation again.


Funny Experiences, Funny Story, Humour

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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