Murder at Heber's

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 20th Jan 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

The story of a woman’s heroic decision to kill a man while he slept.

"A woman of faith is fearless. There is no ambiguity, no uncertain trump in her life." - Margaret D.Nadauld

After Moses had passed on, the Israelites abandoned the Lord’s teachings to do whatever the hell the wanted. The Lord wasn’t exactly happy with this and decided to teach them a lesson in appreciation by selling them to the Canaanites which, if you think about it, is a slap on the wrist in comparison to how harsh the Lord can be.

King Jabin of the Canaanites was a cruel man and oppressed the Israelites for 20 years. The Israelites eventually grew tired of this and went to plead with Deborah (who was a prophet of the Lord) to talk to the Lord on their behalf who told the men to camp at Mount Tabor, where He would lure the Canaanite Army into a trap at the Kishon River.

In the middle of all this, there was a man named Heber, whose clan lived in a sort of a no combat zone and was on friendly terms with both the Israelites ad King Jabin.

Heber noticed all the movement the Israelites were making and told Sisera (the general of the Canaanite Army) who then decided to meet the Israelites in battle at the Kishon River. When Sisera got there, the Lord intervened on behalf of the Israelites and dealt with the Canaanite Army. Seeing that the battle was lost, Sisera saw the battle as a lost cause and like most generals of his time, left his army and horse and fled to Heber’s place where he knew he would get sanctuary.

When Sisera reached Heber’s camp, he found that Heber wasn’t around but his wife was. Jael welcomed him inside and told him to get comfortable.

In return, Sisera laid down to rest but gave her some instructions:

Judges 4 (New International Version)

:19 "I'm thirsty," he said. "Please give me some water." She opened a skin of milk, gave him a drink, and covered him up.

:20 "Stand in the doorway of the tent," he told her. "If someone comes by and asks you, 'Is anyone here?' say 'No.' "

Little did Sisera know that Heber’s tent would be his final resting place…

:21 But Jael, Heber's wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died.

Can we just take a step back?

This lady lulled this guy into a false sense of security, took care of him and assured him that she wouldn’t turn him in. She then waited for the poor sod to fall asleep and when he did, quietly went to his side and drove a tent nail into his head, pinning it to the damn ground!

I mean, she was smiling at the poor bastard, knowing full well what she was planning to do! So far as the passage mentions, Sisera wasn’t planning to do anything to Jael, he just wanted a place to rest.

What was even weirder was that when Barak (one of the Israelites) showed up to ask where Sisera had gone, Jael did the following:

:22 Barak came by in pursuit of Sisera, and Jael went out to meet him. "Come," she said, "I will show you the man you're looking for." So he went in with her, and there lay Sisera with the tent peg through his temple-dead.

She felt no shame in what she had done. No sir, she was acting all nonchalant while showing off her handiwork…

The crazy part is that the Israelites were singing her praises, noting her courage and fearlessness.


This lady didn’t slay no damn lions or kill someone in combat…


Biblical times were weird…


Bible Story, Biblical Women, Humour

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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author avatar Retired
1st Jul 2018 (#)

Quite an interesting story Memba Ben.

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