Let’s sleep!!!!

Prabodh By Prabodh, 25th Aug 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

Read on to find out why sleep is necessary for all

Let’s sleep!!!!

Wait! Wait! Wait!

This is just a general appeal, not an offer. So all you female readers, please put back your swords in place. I am still the ultra-decent, clean-minded blogger of yours. If you find any word with a ‘double meaning’, it is purely coincidental and accidental, and you need not go for my dental.

What I meant to say is that we all need to get enough sleep. At least eight hours in a day. You all may be wondering why I have suddenly started talking about health. Even my most ardent fans (including polar bears and aliens) won’t expect me to talk about health. After all, I am the world’s most famous humorist (after P.G. Wodehouse). I am supposed to talk humor, and not discuss things about sleep, heart or tumor.

But tell me, what do you expect of a man who used to get only five hours of sleep until recently. A man whose girlfriend worked in the night shift, while he himself worked in the day. My girlfriend gave me missed calls at 2am in the night, the reason being her break time. So she wanted me to talk to her while she gulped burgers and colas in her office cafeteria. Fed up of all this, I decided to dump.

No, not my girlfriend. I asked her to dump her job, which she described as ‘graveyard shift’. I learnt all witches and black magic magicians have gone out of business ever since these call centers with graveyard shifts mushroomed in India. Nights no more belong to the ghosts in white cloaks or to the screeching owls. In cities like Mumbai, you will see people roaming or smoking even at 2am in the night. Dinners happen at midnight and breakfasts at 4am. My girlfriend too had a similar lifestyle which was taking a toll on my life and was a result of my sleep deprivation.

Finally, sanity prevailed and she quit that job. She has found a better one now. A day shift job with an Indian company, which, for a change, does not survive on outsourced work from the USA. Now, my girlfriend gives me calls during the afternoon, which I royally disconnect citing an important meeting (either with the hot receptionist or my ultra-sexy colleague who thinks tank tops and mini skirts are too much of a clothing, and that the management should be more liberal towards the dress code).

So what I was saying is that sleep is very necessary for all. At least eight hours in a day. Just like we need eight glasses of water every day. I don’t know what’s with this figure 8 that scientists find it so special. Eight hours of sleep, eight glasses of water, eight types of yoga, eight types of anger, eight wonders of the world (I being the eighth). I hope no scientist comes up with a research that concludes that eight is the best age to lose virginity or get pregnant.

I realized the importance of sleep when I started losing it. Many people sleep for just 4–5 hours in a day. This includes those who are awaiting their ticket for the heavenly abode, and also those who work more than required for making their ends meet. Some sleep for twelve hours in a day. Needless to say, this includes bureaucrats who doze during office hours, as well as our dear politicians (I am avoiding using the word ‘leaders’), who sleep for five years only to wake up when the next elections are round the corner.

During those night shift days (of my girlfriend), I used to feel very irritated throughout the day. I could not tell my boss that I did errors in my report because I could not sleep well last night, thanks to a romantic chat over the phone with my girlfriend at 2am. Sometimes, I dozed in the office only to be caught red-handed by the CEO, who happened to pass from my desk whenever I took my power nap. I overslept on weekends to take revenge on the amount of sleep I lost during the week. It was not just me but several others who behave strangely due to sleep deprivation only to find themselves in embarrassing situations. One day, I happened to touch the shoulder of the hot receptionist in my office since I found her dozing at her desk. She woke up suddenly and replied, “Please darling…not tonight. I am having a headache.” Needless to say, our CEO passed from there at the same time and he heard it. Since then, he gives me a suspicious look whenever he passes from my desk. Sometimes I feel I should go and clarify to him that I am not having any affair with that (hot) receptionist, and it was all due to sleep deprivation on the part of the (hot) receptionist.

Once my girlfriend quit her graveyard shift job, I started getting a peaceful sleep at least in the night. The best way to sleep on time is trying to do the thing you usually hate, like cleaning your cupboard or studying. Within no time, your brain will cooperate with you and your eyes will start inviting sweet dreams. Sleeping at work can be helpful as well, especially for newly married couples. They can stay awake at night and do more productive stuff.

I really feel sad for those who are not able to sleep properly due to different reasons, especially night shifts. I always believed only owls stay awake at night, and this skill should not be matched with by humans. My mantra of life can be summed up in three sentences of wisdom:

Live and let live
Love and get loved
Sleep and let sleep



Call Center, Girlfriend, Night Shift, Sleep

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author avatar Prabodh
Humor, Satire

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author avatar Vernazoa
7th Oct 2011 (#)

This is wonderful. I have sleep disturbances. It's getting with my searching for answers in my life. I have learned a lot from this article.
Thank you very much. I am now a follower of your pleasure to write

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author avatar Vernazoa
7th Oct 2011 (#)

Your sense of humor is delicious. I could eat your word up!

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