Idiot Mechanics

Zarathruster By Zarathruster, 15th Mar 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

A real life example and true story of how to not get ripped off by an auto mechanic

Idiot Mechanics

Idiot Mechanics

Everyone gets a sinking feeling in their gut when their mechanic hesitates before answering your question of "..what is the problem with my vehicle?" You already have a good indication of what the problems is, you're just not sure of exactly what it takes to fix it.

I have seen repair estimates skyrocket from initial estimates from $450 to final work of over $1200. They know they can get it from you and they will if you let them. When visiting the alleged professional, notice his 'busy-ness', always to busy to speak with you directly. If you are granted this privilege, it's always a rushed, hurried conversation and he's off to the next victim. My favorite version of the mechanically challenged are the foreigners who portray a limited vocabulary in English. You know damn well these impostors have a full handle on English however try asking them a question and all you get is a blank stare and having to repeat yourself. "Where do you get your parts?" ans. - "She go to Daytona", What the hell does that mean" Is 'Daytona' an auto parts warehouse?

After the initial jerk around and the holier than thou attitude comes what I call the hand off. This is where our learn-ed hero 'hands off' the work to an even less qualified moron than himself. "My son take care of you" or "Jimmy be right back". Now you start to feel uncomfortable. You negotiated the work with one guy and another is doing it. To make matters worse, they ALWAYS double the time they say it will take to get the job done. Three hours means six, If you're lucky. The standard response is "I need an extra day or two for the parts to arrive." They will tell you what they think it will cost and it will always be more. The only way around this is to double check the price of every part, get several labor estimates and let them know you did. Only then will the garage tinkerer come down on their price. The alleged mechanic will never stand his ground, this makes you think even less of him.

I have had bolts fly off of water pumps on the interstate, tires not properly balanced and reduced to shreds, ac compressors replaced three times and still not work properly. I have had mechanics tell me that prior mechanics have wrongly diagnosed perfectly good evaporators, try to sell me a new evaporator for $350 and not see the real problem of a leaking ac hose. The same mechanic then told me that the third compressor in my vehicle was faulty and I needed a new one for $585. As I drove away from his shop, the compressor worked fine. I later found out that a compressor, condenser and all items needed to replace an ac system on my vehicle was only $275 from Advance Auto. Of course, the monkey wrench stooge won't use these parts - he labels them as inferior. I was shocked at his grasp of four syllable words. His next uttering was "I can't guarantee my work with those parts". This was the same guy to whom I just gave over $2000 to repair our other vehicle. After speaking to a local car rental company of my plight, they said "...oh yeah, that guy always charges at least $1000 for everything he does. You can't get out of their for less than $1000". This was coming from total strangers who have had the same experiences with this grifter.

I now know that my compressor is OK. I told the first mechanic to find my original compressor because I will be back to exchange it for the second one he put in, to get a refund. After telling me that he is not sure where he put it and might have thrown it away, he said he would have it for me the following week. The compressor has a 30 warranty on it. When he calls me back, wondering why I haven't been back to pick up the compressor, I am going to tell him to hold it - between his knees, for a couple more weeks! When the two weeks are up, I will then tell him to remove it from between his knees and stick it up his ass, to see if it fits - you whore son of a bitch! Next, I will get the new ac hose installed from a third mechanic practitioner . Finally, I will re-visit each of the two sham car fixers and have a frank and open discussion about their attempted rape upon my wallet. This should be interesting because I will total my cost and compare it to their bogus estimates and wrong headed claims. I will then invoice each of the ethically challenged grease monkeys for my time and aggravation. At last, I will look each of them straight in the eye and ask " do want to handle this - cash or credit?"


Auto Repair, Automobiles, Mechanics

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author avatar Zarathruster
Internationally Acclaimed Writer of Satire and Human Interest

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