Humor - This is your deer. This is your deer on drugs...

Jack Goblin By Jack Goblin, 28th Jan 2014 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/3eq_jr2u/
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

There are several pitfalls on the road to legalizing marijuana. This is a hypothetical one I don't think anyone has thought of, yet.

Reefer Madness?

Washington state has legalized the possession and use of marijuana. Moral, ethical, legal, and health problems aside, I foresee POTENTIAL DISASTER when people start growing pot for their own use and sale. No, not pilfering by neighbor kids looking to get high. Not the Feds swooping in and arresting people, or - worse - auditing their tax records to see how profitable hemp growing is. Not even the probably inevitable brand wars between those who like certain MJ strains and not others, as well as the health enthusiasts who will undoubtedly insist only organically grown marijuana (which will almost certainly be a popular commodity) is worth smoking. No, none of those. I'm talking about a much more serious danger.

Deer.

Yes, deer!

The White Tailed deer - Odocoileus virginianus - is common in many places in Washington. Very common. VERY VERY common. So common, in fact, as well as so prevalent and so destructive, that even animal lovers often have no problems with them being shot. And might well want to take a few pops at the big furry pests, themselves. Deer dash in front of speeding cars, with bad results for all concerned. Deer leave droppings all over lawns and sidewalks. Deer eat almost EVERYTHING, devastating trees and plants. Especially garden plants, which they apparently find delicious. And it's that - that ravenous appetite - that is the problem. Because it is inevitable that, no matter what fencing or chemical deterrents are used, deer will get into marijuana growing outside eventually, and chow down.

When animals do drugs...

How much of a buzz they might get from this is hard to say. But given how outrageous their behavior is normally, even slightly blitzed deer do not bear thinking about. Instead of running into cars, deer jumping into the backs of pickups in the hopes of getting a ride. Deer laying on their backs on lawns, hooves twitching in the air, moaning "Colors. Look at the colors. Wow, are we stoned. Too bad we're also red color blind or this would probably be REALLY spectacular!". Deer standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU and refusing to move (well, no, they do that now). But most horrifying of all, deer... with the munchies. They devour and destroy so much now. Driven by chemical induced hunger, who knows what these over sized mammalian locusts might do? We might wake up one day to find our homes broken into... kitchens ransacked... and the deer inviting themselves for breakfast. And not as the main course.

It's a very dis-jointed risk. So to speak.


Media Source: Wikimedia Commons

Tags

Deer, Humor, Legalization, Marijuana, Munchies, Washington State

Meet the author

author avatar Jack Goblin
Was born. Haven't died yet. Don't intend to anytime soon.

Thank you much for reading my articles. I hope they brought you pleasure and enlightenment. :)

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Comments

author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
28th Jan 2014 (#)

What next, the mountain lions would be doing catnip?

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author avatar Fern Mc Costigan
28th Jan 2014 (#)

Nice Post!

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author avatar joyalariwo
29th Jan 2014 (#)

He he very funny Jack, LOL so much that i'll share this!

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author avatar MarilynDavisatTIERS
29th Jan 2014 (#)

Good morning, Jack; as a person in recovery, I was so caught up in many of your first arguments, that I did not even think to factor in the alarming deer issue. I thank you for bringing this excellent point to my attention. Wonderfully done : ) ~Marilyn

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author avatar Maggles
7th Feb 2014 (#)

Good writing. I can see the deer rolling around on the lawn, tripping. I can also visualize them coming in to see what's for dinner. Thanks for all the mental visions.

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author avatar Retired
18th Feb 2014 (#)

Very amusing story. I don't believe in legalizing drugs and know I have another reason for not wanting to have them legalized. I enjoy your writing.

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author avatar dis-cover
3rd Jun 2014 (#)

Very interesting and funny article jack :-) Thanks for sharing.

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