How Michael Jackson Actually Died

Crashnibbles By Crashnibbles, 11th Jun 2010 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

A fictionous story of one way that Michael Jackson could have died.

HOw I died

When I woke up today, I didn't know it was going to be a very bad day just that it was going to be a long, boring and bad day. I knew this because when I went to the bathroom I noticed that somebody had taken off all of the gold off of my brand new gold-plated toilet seat. So I went downstairs and saw that somebody had also left the front door open because there was a family of deer in the indoor pool. So I told my morning butler to close the front door and get me the mail. So he went outside and came inside with a bunch of bills. I opened one of them and it said this:

Dear Michael Jackson,

You currently owe me my annual pay for driving you everywhere you want to go of $4,000,000.00. Please send the check to 983 SE Drive, Houston, Texas. Thank you!


Jimmy Brown

Then the doorbell rang and my butler opened it and in came Jimmy Brown.

"Hi," said Jimmy


If you come to your indoor pool and pretend to drown with me then I will relieve you of your four million dollar dept."


So we went to the indoor pool, jumped in and started pretending to drown. I forgot to pretend.


"You're really good at this."

After my butler called the ambulance and I was given CPR I heard the doorbell ring again. My butler went and opened the door and guess who it was Jimmy Brown, the dork who almost killed me and who still wants his 4 million dollar pay.

"YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I think that I yelled to loudly because right at that moment the maid that was dusting the light fixture above me accidentally jumped up in alarm, knocked the small lamp that she was polishing off of the fixture and on a collision course with the top of my head. THUNK! I don't really remember what happened in the next 30 minutes because I was out cold on the front door entrance surrounded by 2 former employees of mine. I then went to my doctor to ask him what caused my headache.

"My head hurts a lot and I don't know why, do you?"

"Yes, you were hit in the head by a falling lamp at 11:08 today.

"How do you fix it?"

"I don't know."

"You're fired too!!"

Then I left and searched the Internet for ways to stop bad days. I found one and it said that I needed to mix a cup of pure caffeine with three gallons of red bull and then drink all of it in one twelve hour period. I followed those instructions and then drank all of it at once

"Huh, why can I feel my heart beating so fast?"

Lub-bub lub-lub lub-lub lub-lub lub-lub.

"Hey why is my heart not beating any more?"

The doorbell rang, the mail-man came in holding a cucumber in one hand and a letter in the other hand.

"Mr. Jackson, you currently owe a total of $400,000,000.00."


"You are now the proud owner of .4 billion dollars of debt!"

"Darn it!!"

Thud, I had a heart attack and died.

Now you know how I actually died.


Celebrities, Death, Died, Doctor, Heart Attack, Michael Jackson

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author avatar Crashnibbles
Hi! I post stuff here.

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