Have patience, your Family's visitin'!

JoshuaClayton By JoshuaClayton, 28th Nov 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

Family, some people love family, some people hate family. Some people feel nothing for family and go totally introvert. Some extrovert themselves too much and act like it is the best thing in the world. Well, this article and series of sections humorously and generously talks about getting beyond the act and getting effectively real before either approach becomes a mess.

Feelings, nothing more than feelings!! Feelings of-

Marci Shimoff, Ph.D. of "The Secret" movies and books once said that feelings are a short cut for thoughts and a short hand way of gauging thoughts. If that is so, irritation or joy tell it all when dealing with family now, doesn't it?

Why am I starting this article with the subject of feelings? Well, what natural thing does any relationship start with? It sure as heck does not start with logic either.

When all is said and done, we feel our way through things good and bad. When memories are made they leave feelings.

Good start, but I wanted to go on to the next most important section early:

Feelings and thoughts, in that order, that is how life works really although we so damn desperately want to think in the opposite way also known as thoughts first and feelings second. Oh it would be nice if any parent reacted with logic instead of feelings when Johnny sets fire to the living room rug, or draws on the foyer wall with crayon. But, I would like to say here and not that logic is not always possible or realistic before strong feelings. Sorry. But, reality works as reality works in that sense as parents tell you how to live sometimes as a grown person, and you feel you want to kill them for it for a minute or two and then "cold" logic kicks in.

Oh, you all know what I am talking about, now. It would be nice if reality worked "as planned without a hitch", but since those darn feelings are there, it almost never does. Just like the toy does not work as perfectly each time as on the commercial for little Timmy or the doll cries at the wrong time for Sue. Feelings break the toys, logic helps you patiently work the toy better. But what usually wins for the kid? Feelings of frustration and anger that break the toy. It is that rare kid that kind of logical finding out how to make the toy work right works for. Same metaphor goes for being patient, tolerant and ultimately working, living and playing sanely with family.

Breaking bread lovingly, not breaking bones intolerantly.

Full and complete understanding when it comes to family is quite complicated and takes a lot of self-honesty, seeing the mote in your own eye, and logic. But, here is where you should be wary of feelings. When you feel it is "their" fault, and you are the innocent, "perfect" person and all of that kind of thing.

Look, everybody wants to break bones intolerantly when irritated through feelings. But when you stop, think and understand, what is better? Thought or action? Going on feelings purely or thinking it out first?

There is a decision to made there, but may you find the right way.

Realistically, I have no answer, and you have to find your own there, but, anyway it goes, it always feels better to love than hate. I did not say that there were not any legitimate reasons not to feel, but just to temper them with logic. That's all.


Family, Family Influence, Family Life, Family Time, Humor, Patience, Tolerance, Understanding

Meet the author

author avatar JoshuaClayton
I am a freelance writer based in Inglewood, California, USA. I used to write under a few aliases, but now I have nothing to hide and write mostly under my own name. I write mostly on self-help topics.

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author avatar brendamarie
29th Nov 2015 (#)

great article, coming from someone who has lost both parents any family moment should be cherished.

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