Hands off, it's Mine!

Carol By Carol, 9th Feb 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

Flo the pensioner shows what stern stuff she is made of.

Hands off, it's Mine!

Once upon a time there was a pensioner named Flo, who was proud of the fact she had been married to Ernie for fifty years. She couldn’t say without a cross word, there had been ups and downs, but he was her whole life, and they had shared so much together for a long time.

She had been very proud of him when he retired, they had given him a lovely gold watch to celebrate his long and faithful service on the railways, and she knew how much this gesture meant to him. So when some thugs broke into their house one day when they were out shopping, she was really angry when they took Ernie’s beloved watch

Then she had an idea

Then Flo came up with an idea. She would save the little bit she had left out of her pension each week, it would take a few months, but Ernie would have a gold watch for their fiftieth wedding anniversary. She had even seen one almost identical to the one stolen in their local jewellers, so every day she looked longingly at it as she passed the window on the way to her local food shop.

On this particular morning she made up her mind she was going to pay a deposit on it, just so no-one else could snaffle it up. She put on her bright red coat, and picked up her handbag. Flo always liked to look the part, and even though Ernie teased her about how heavy her hand bag was, and did she have a rock in it, she still took it with her, because she wouldn’t feel complete with out it.

She couldn't believe what happened next

As she was approaching the shop, she saw something that made her see red. A group of thugs with sledge hammers and balaclavers were there, smashing the glass panes of the windows, and she knew what that meant, Ernie’s watch would once more be taken from him, this time before he had even got it.

Flo acted quickly, she hadn’t saved all that money for nothing! She swung her handbag menacingly, hitting them, and shouting at them, and one by one, this gang of would be jewel thieves ran away from her. She was like a woman possessed, because hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Having prevented them from taking that special watch, Flo dusted herself off, and calmly went into the shop to pay her deposit. Her Ernie would have his watch after all, and that is all she cared about.

The moral of this story is , DON'T UPSET THE FLO.


Angry, Balaclavas, Ernie, Fifty Years, Flo, Handbag, Jewellers, Married, Pensioner, Red Coat, Retired, Thugs, Watch, Window

Meet the author

author avatar Carol
I am a proud mother and grandmother, and an author. I have had 7 books published. My hobbies are walking, swimming, and playing badminton. I try to raise more awareness of autism with my writing.

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author avatar Greenfaol
9th Feb 2011 (#)

LOL, brilliant article :D Really made me smile that :D Cheers me dear xx

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author avatar Retired
9th Feb 2011 (#)

All I have to say is "You go Flo!"

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
9th Feb 2011 (#)

totally clever catch phrase at the end.

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author avatar christopheranton
10th Feb 2011 (#)

Clever. I hope she got her watch.

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author avatar Denise O
10th Feb 2011 (#)

Love it Carol, cracked me up!
Thanks for the laugh and as always, thank you for sharing.:)

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author avatar Martin King
13th Feb 2011 (#)

nice one flo

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author avatar R. Person
16th Feb 2011 (#)

It would have been so strange if it was the same watch.

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