Getting Fit

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 15th May 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

A time in primary school when I cocked up a simple push-up.

Reliving the joys of physical education class.

When I think back to all the dumb things I’ve done, it makes me realize just how much of an idiot I am. However, the very first incident may be the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.

I was nine years old and as a child, I was never much of an outdoors person. Books were my thing, whether it be RL Stine’s Goosebumps, Terry Pratchett’s Discworld or K.A Applegate’s Animorphs and Everworld series; I just couldn’t get enough. They were my outdoors; their words and my imagining of how the worlds and characters looked were my playtime and what made me happy.

My folks loved the fact that I read a lot but still recognized the need for physical activity so they enrolled me into the physical education class. I wasn’t fat or anything like that (I was actually quite a sprinter in my younger years) but they still felt it was for the best.

What I had expected of the P.E class was that we’d be running around the field a few times and do some jumping jacks and such. However, the coach showed up and told us that we’d be starting off with some stretches. It wasn’t a problem to me and after wards; we had gone into some jumping jacks and such.

After about ten minutes of us doing the kiddies workout, the couch decided for the boys to do some pushups and sit-ups.

That’s when things went to hell.

To clarify, while I knew how to do sit-ups, I didn't know how to do a push up properly. I just hadn't done any sport which required me to do them. Looking back, I think I knew what I was supposed to do (basically push up myself up from the ground but not actually get up), but I was so nervous I completely cocked it up.

We (the boys) were lined up in front of the gym and were asked to do push-ups and while everyone was fairing reasonably well, I was doing my stupid looking push-ups. Instead of my upper body doing all the work, I was moving my midsection and thighs off and on the floor so it looked as if I was fucking the floor.

The gym erupted in laughter, which added to my embarrassment and when the coach said that I was doing it wrong, I just got more nervous and worked harder in the hope that it would come right eventually.

I just kept on fucking the ground furiously while the other students just died laughing at my dumb ass till they ran out breath. The coach just shook his head in disappointment, told me to stop and then walked away. He didn't even tell me how to do it properly; he just walked off clearly blown away from what he had just witnessed.

It got so bad that in the following sessions, he just made me run the track while others were doing pushups. Not that I can blame him; shit, just thinking about it makes me want to crawl into a hole and die.


Exercise, Humour, Humourous Story, True Story

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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author avatar Retired
24th May 2017 (#)

I can imagine the horror you felt at the time.

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author avatar Memba Ben
24th May 2017 (#)

Hi Tootsie

It was a nightmare..

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