Funny World

flow1759 By flow1759, 8th May 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

Read of a rather funny experience of what Booze can do to a first timer.

One For The Road

The day I drank Alcohol first. A funny one indeed.

I was 15, and I was told aside the sweetness of a woman, the next sweetest was Alcohol.

So that mentality stuck.

My friend Ade had drank Alcohol severally because his mother's shop was centered in the heart of where the best bars were. He always ridiculed me, and promised to tutor me in the game of drinking.

For such tutorage, he asked for no fees, he said it was free; free of charge.

After school one afternoon as Ade and I walked home, we made plans towards how to hit the bar later that evening.

I asked him of the who would foot the bills, he said I shouldn’t worry about that, that he was equal to the task.

“Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are” They say, but I was affirmative that my friend Ade wasn’t a bad friend, he just wanted his friend to learn something new.

I was told by Ade that when one was about drinking Alcohol, it was needful that the stomach was full.

With a stomach so full that it bulged and gave me a disfigured shape, I walked to Ade’s house.Thankful he was already set.

He was on his Sunday’s best while I was on rags.

I was dressed on my last year’s Christmas clothe, but that evening I discovered it had wore and tore.

Ade asked me why I wore such clothe, and I told him shabby was better.

Shabby was better indeed. So many beauties admired the shabby Peter to Ade. I also told him I loved dressing that way, that looks matters more than dress sense.

In no time, we were at the bar.

The atmosphere shone with colors of the rainbow and I told myself “this is heaven!”

Hell it was for me at the end of the day.

Ade ordered for a bottle of his favorite booze and one for me too.

As I took the first sip of the chilled beer, my nervous system eased.

I thanked Ade for introducing me to booze and promised him i would pay back for the kind gesture soon.

As I took another sip, my eyes began to spun like I was in a big wheel.

I asked our Ade what was going on, he answered saying it was normal, that it was just my eyes.

Ade had drank two bottles while i was still in the first when I saw the skies came close to my head.

Few minutes on and an airplane flew just above my head. Shortly, a Ship sailed on my head.

Before I knew it Ade had ordered for the third bottle, and at that juncture I saw I had grown an additional pair of eyes.

And these pair of eyes made me long sighted.

From a distance, I saw two fighting; the Sun and the Moon.

Why will heavenly bodies fight?

How come?

Ade told me on the Average he drank four bottles, but for my sake, he would stop at three.

Standing up was a big problem. A very big problem.

My legs were really heavy; like I had 20 legs on both sides.

“help!!” I screamed.

“where is my leg?” I asked the crowd that gathered around me.

They laughed in response while i saw they all had four heads each.

“A friend in need is a friend indeed” They say, Ade staggered as he helped me find my lost leg, and he also helped me carried it.

Ade parted with me when he came close to his house. Before then he warned me to thread carefully lest I fell.

Walking the lonely road home was herculean but it was a burden I was ready to bear.

I passed the door to our house and was knocking in our neighbor’s house, thank God they weren’t home.

Someone finally showed me my house and it's door and on hearing that my Dad was home, my eyes cleared of Alcohol.

I practiced a perfect walking step first outside before I displayed it as I entered.

I greeted my mum and dad and quietly walked to my room.

My first dive was on the floor dislocating my elbow because I thought it was my bed that I dived on.

Then my second dive was on my bed.

Within few seconds, I heard rumbles in my stomach.

Then I created a swimming pool on my bed.

A swimming pool I slept on.


Comic Book, Comic Character, Funny Stories, Giggles, Laugh For The Day, Laugh Out Loud, Laughter Is Good Medicine, Past Time Stories Comic

Meet the author

author avatar flow1759
I am a vast writer of several specialties, i write articles on freelance for some media houses in my country.

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