Erotic Novels are Weird and the Fan Fiction is even Weirder

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 28th Nov 2016 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

An opinion of an erotic fanfic that I stumbled upon that made me think about the future of the erotica genre

Whoever said 50 Shades of Grey was dodgy hasn't seen nothing yet.

I believe like other genres, erotica needs a good balance of storytelling and execution. So as long as the book is well written, I’m a fan.

It becomes an issue when the porn becomes the ONLY element of the story.

This has been a problem ever since 50 Shades of Grey took the world by storm.

Because of such novels, many people are taking their idea of erotic novella into a whole new stratosphere of weird.

I mean, until recently, I found Mills and Boon to be the most scandalous set of books a person could read. I felt dirty reading those damn books.

But Good Lord, I recently read some fan fiction called The Thing In Between Your Thighs that would have a priest sweating uncomfortably.

Some gems in the fan fic included the following:

“His tongue tantalizingly teased my body as it galloped in circles around my nipple. The felling left me shuddering to my very core, increasing my desire for him to have his way with me.”

“He grabbed my right boob in the way a child seated in the bosom of his mother would clutch the breast and suckle from it.”

“His tongue spiraled around my areolas, sending me into an ecstatic state of sexual gratification that made my feet weak.”

“I melted like a candle in the fire of his consuming passion that swerved between pain and pleasure.”

“”You want my long dick?” He asked as he left my throbbing nipples stranded in the midst of his upheaval pleasure.”

“Pointing at the huge mountain that sprouted in his pants, I stretched my quivering hands to fiddle with his belt. When I had finally unbuckled his belt and dipped my hands inside his boxers, the warmth I felt from inside his pants made a smile sneak out from my lips.”

I would just like to stop for a moment to warn of some graphic descriptions. If the previously quoted passages couldn’t leave a nun flustered, then the following will:

“Measuring almost 7 inches and thick like the hoses used by firefighters in extinguishing fires, I felt a fire raging within my loins that needed to be put out and knew the hose in my hand was the right tool”

“He dug deep inside of me, sifting through piles of serenity until he struck the rusty part of me that I never knew existed.”

“I knelt before his majesty, mouth wide open while he shoved his pound of flesh into my mouth. The salty sweaty taste made me choke”

“I have never felt such a cocktail of pain and pleasure .I relished every moment while tears came cascading my cheek as he milked sensuous frenzy into my being”

OK, I couldn’t continue any further. But you get the idea of where that particular scenario was going.

I mean, JESUS!

What happened to the good old days of Danielle Steele?

Is that where the erotica genre will eventually end up?

I mean, bloody hell!

If ever the Good Lord decides to bless me with a daughter, there’s no way in hell I will allow her to be exposed to such debauchery. I’ll make sure that she only reads Farmers Weekly.


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author avatar Memba Ben
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