Dear Santa, help me save some tax!!

Prabodh By Prabodh, 19th Dec 2011 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

Read on to find out how income tax made me go crazy.....

Dear Santa, help me save some tax!!


“No problem is so big or so complicated it can not be run away from” – Charlie Brown in Peanuts

Life is full of problems. Well, at least mine is. I don’t know about you. But none of those problems seem to be big enough than the efforts I need to take to save income tax every year. So much so that even my ever-pending marriage seems to be a lesser evil (this statement is also a clue that I am searching for my bride, and you should be searching one for me rather than just laughing over my blogposts and situation).

This year, my company decided to be pro-active. No, not in increasing our salaries, but in levying income tax. We were asked to submit investments proofs by mid-December to avoid being taxed in January 2012. As usual, I slept over the mail until the last moment. It was only a week before the deadline that I realized I was in a soup and that Charlie Brown was a visionary (for proof, read the first line of this blogpost again).

“If you don’t invest your money, you would probably be spending it on useless things,” advised my company’s accountant, in a saintly tone.

“For example?” I asked.

“Like eating and living.”

“Oh my god! Eating and living are useless things? Then what are the useful ones? Playing poker in the club?” I was shocked to hear the accountant’s reply. For a moment, I saw a radical terrorist in place of him. Next, I thought he will say wearing clothes too is useless.

“No, no. I mean eating out at restaurants and paying rent for the place where you live.”

His clarification was a big sigh of relief, and brought him back in the league of ordinary citizens. My parents always advise me to save for my old age. Unfortunately, all that I save is not for my old age but for the dreadful month of March, when we are charged income tax here in India. And by shooting out a mail regarding submission of investment proofs in December itself, the company sent me on a spending spree.

I had read somewhere that people who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women. So true. Surprisingly, I have noticed that girls and women never complain about taxes. Forget about complaining, they don’t even discuss about taxes. May be they think that income tax too is something that their husbands or boyfriends are supposed to take care of. May be they don’t even check their salary slips. Whatever.

I wish during my school days, they had taught me how to deduct than how to subtract. By the time the deadline arrived, I had invested money in every scheme under the sun. After deducting all my investments from my annual income, I learnt that I will still end up paying six thousand rupees as income tax this year.

My heart sank like the Titanic. But unlike the fateful ship, I noticed the iceberg. Or shall I say, the silver lining. What if I had a girlfriend? I would have spent much more than six thousand rupees every year on keeping her happy and catering to her demands. What if I was married? My wife’s monthly grocery bill and other shopping would have been at least two-fold.

The whole trauma of making investments for saving tax suddenly seemed bearable. What looked like a root canal surgery without anesthesia, now seemed like Santa’s Christmas gift for me. As Charlie Brown could have said:

“No problem is bigger than having to pay taxes, and spending on a partner you can’t run away from.”

Tags

Girlfriend, Income, Income Tax, Investment

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author avatar Prabodh
Humor, Satire

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Comments

author avatar ittech
19th Dec 2011 (#)

nice share

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author avatar Neha Dwivedi
19th Dec 2011 (#)

nice one.... you made me ooze over the fact that why girls and women never complain about taxes....!!

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author avatar ittech
23rd Dec 2011 (#)

A pretty good and informative article.

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author avatar ittech
19th Jan 2012 (#)

very interesting writing . Keep going .

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