Buns In the Oven

Carol Roach By Carol Roach, 25th Mar 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL http://nut.bz/2h8l-35e/
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

My readers are so used to me writing sad stories, I am presenting this little article just for the sake of laughing or at least feeling good. This article was also picked up by a food e-zine with one time publishing rights.


I wrote about a tea bag on another site, I wrote about the aroma, the flavour, texture, and how the simple teabag brought such wonderful feelings of strength into my life. I mentioned how Eleanor Roosevelt felt that women are like teabags. You only get to know how strong they are when they are immersed in hot water. She used the concept of boiling water and tea as a metaphor for life. We use boiling water all the time in this fashion. How many times have you heard getting into hot water to mean somebody is facing a difficult situation that will lead to some kind of trouble?

fishing and poaching

An expression as a child, that I found confusing or amusing as the case may be, was fishing for compliments, again fish was something we ate, how could you fish for a compliment? Was there an invisible net that you gathered all these compliments into?
What about the expression lazy as or dirty as a pig? We eat pork all the time. And of course, lest we forget, there was always the chubby person known as porky, or the very hateful words, fat as a pig. I was wounded by those words so much as a child.

When I was young I used to find the word poaching extremely confusing. I understood poachers were people who hunted for animals in the off-season, or just plain illegally hunted, but poaching? You poached an egg, I thought. How do you poach an animal?

Walking on eggshells

Now that I brought it up, let's talk about poultry. A not very bright person has oftentimes been known as a turkey, while a fearful person has been called a chicken. I love to eat these foods but I certainly wouldn't want to be one of them.

After thinking about poultry another expression that comes to mind for me, is walking on eggshells. I know first hand what it feels like to be afraid to rattle somebody's feathers; hmm, I wonder what animal that could have been?

I know what it is like to be so afraid to say or do the wrong thing that I didn't want to break the harmony, or break the eggshell relationship.

Eggs, wonderful fluffy eggs, what pancake could be complete without them. We love to eat pancakes but do we love to wear them? Remember that wonderful hairdo that cost you so much money. Your hair was fluffed up just right until you went to bed. The next morning it was as flat as a pancake.

But life has those disappointing moments. It never really is as easy as pie. If you think it is then you must be as crazy as a fruitcake, my beloved grandmother used to say. She had no problem picking out people who were totally crackers. She actually told some to their face that they were just plain bananas especially the men who were nuts about her.

My grandmother lived in an era where sexism ran rampant. She had no time for flaky women and men who were dough heads. These beefcakes were charming but did not have much between the ears. Ah, but the ones that were ripe for the picking were the ones she wanted her girls to marry.

It was hard to bring her plans to fruition. Most of the men that she saw hanging around the house wanting to court her girls were not what you would call the salt of the earth. She wanted them to be sweet as candy, but many sported a sour puss and bad table manners. Her girls were as pretty as a peach, why should they settle for less?

We girls rebelled. We wanted to pick our own future husbands. We spewed forth all the raw emotions contained within us. Time would stand still for no one. We didn't want to become old maids. Even though women aged like fine wine, the men we had seen grow older ended up bald with big jelly bellies. We were young and foolish, but our brains had not fried. We chose our own husbands and soon there was a bun in the oven and then cute and cuddly butterballs were delivered one by one. It was hard to keep as cool as a cucumber when they kept us up, crying half the night.

Alas, my little butterball grew up. He is tall and slim like a string bean and he is hungry. He is in the kitchen right now, rattling pots and pans. He just informed me that he feels like a hamburger. Does anyone know what a hamburger feels like?

All photos taken from the public domain

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Cute Stories, Food, Food For Thought, Food Humor, Food Phrases, Funny Stories, Stories About Food

Meet the author

author avatar Carol Roach
Retired therapist and author of two books, freelance writer, newsletter editor, and blogger. I write, health, mental health, women's issues, animal , celebrity, history, and SEO articles.

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author avatar Retired
26th Mar 2015 (#)

This was really entertaining!

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author avatar Utah Jay
26th Mar 2015 (#)

That was a good read and, like Jessica, I enjoyed it.
Oh yes...Flat and greasy with a bun on top.

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author avatar Kingwell
27th Mar 2015 (#)

A good share. We have a lot of old saying that I've written about. Good to smile and be happy. Blessings.

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author avatar Markthespark
10th Apr 2015 (#)

Amusing indeed

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