Breathing Tax

Zarathruster By Zarathruster, 7th Jun 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

A method of saving our country by extreme taxation to cause a tax revolt to usher in a new system.

Breathing Tax

Breathing Tax

The Federal and state governments are going broke. They are in desperate straits and are looking to raise money in any way possible. Fees, fines and penalties are all increasing with no let up in sight. DUI tolerances are going down. Red light cameras are decreasing by a half a second when yellow which is projected to raise millions in Tampa, Fl. Vehicle registration fees have doubled and we feel fortunate that gas is only $3.50 per gallon.

Carbon neutral has become the mantra of misguided elites. Cap and trade for 'carbon credits' is seen as a way to limit greenhouse gases however it is just another fraud. The presumption that carbon based life forms, (all people, plants and animals) are the problem is a nightmare idea.

The following list of new taxes could be implemented as reverse psychology to save us from our current insanity.

A 'leave your house tax' - For generally using more air and space. Satellites and drones could help with this.
Entering a building with air conditioning tax- You are bringing body heat into an air conditioned environment- you must pay.
Road usage tax - Per mile information can be collected on all new car black box recorders and GPS systems that can then be sent to the motorist.
Eating establishment tax - You are eating in a restaurant, that requires significant energy to produce food for you, pay the tax.
National park tax - You are using a state or federal resource, of course, there must be a tax levied.
Turning 21 tax - You are now an adult and as such must pay for your adult usage of all resources.
Place of worship tax - Property tax on all places of worship.
Social Services tax- All social services, SSI, SSDI, Welfare, Health Dept,WIC - Use of these services incurs a tax.
Mail tax - you want mail delivered? pay the tax, optional delivery.
Stupidity tax - If two or more adults sign affidavits attesting to your general stupidity, you will be taxed for it.
Entertainment tax- Movie theaters, concerts- anything deemed as 'entertainment' - a tax is levied.
Baggage fee tax- The airlines are getting rich collecting it, why not tax it?
Excessive talking tax- If a recording can prove that you over talked, rambled on excessively or just would not shut up, you will be taxed.
Excessive cell phone usage tax - If a cell phone has become a body part and you cannot seperate your physical person from it, you must pay the tax.
Happy tax- Once again, if two adults can confirm and sign affidavits of your unreasonable happiness, you must pay for it. We are all miserable and cannot tolerate your 'happiness'.
Useless email tax- The senders are taxed based on number of deletions.
Awful music tax- If you are the distributor of awful music, (most music today), you will be taxed.
All major banks tax - As the title implies, all major banks will pay an additional tax for the thievery they have perpetuated on the general public.

By instituting these taxes we can then truly see the insanity of our current taxation and a tax payer revolt can then usher in sweeping reform. The money that is collected in the mean time can be redistributed as a stimulus payment for small to mid sized businesses to support job creation. This is the shock therapy we need to finally wake up and save the middle class from feudal serfdom and wage slavery. The day dreaming and distracted public needs the cold slap of reality to reboot the national economy. Our ailing nation deserves nothing less.


Carbon Taxes, Tax Strategies, Taxation, Taxes, Taxpayers Money

Meet the author

author avatar Zarathruster
Internationally Acclaimed Writer of Satire and Human Interest

Share this page

moderator Steve Kinsman moderated this page.
If you have any complaints about this content, please let us know


Add a comment
Can't login?