Bait and Switch

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 20th Apr 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed | Short URL
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

How I got tricked into watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand.

Spartacus: A show which was a bit too much

In the early days of my current relationship, I was doing my best to get involved in things that my woman liked. Despite my better judgment, whenever she mentioned wanting us to spend time together or help me learn ballroom dancing, I swallowed my pride as a man and did the deed.

For the most part, all the things she liked doing were not really a problem to me. Hell, even the music she listened to (the type which women lament over their broken hearts) was somewhat bearable (in small doses) and barring a couple of shows (Pretty Little Liars, Revenge), most of the stuff she recommended was watchable.

One day, she began spouting praises about some show that a friend of hers recommended. That day turned to a couple of weeks and eventually, she could not stop talking about the damn show, praising its plot developments and character building.

She hailed it “better than Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad”.

Those are some pretty high benchmarks to surpass so in order to see what the big deal was; I decided to check the show out.

The show she was talking about:


Given her record of referring good shows, I decided to catch a couple of trailers to see what the show is about and the trailers didn’t disappoint. To me, Spartacus looked a bit like 300 and being a fan of 300, I was down with that.

But I couldn’t help but get a feeling that this show wouldn’t be all that my lady was making it out to be. A few searches online increased my worry that the show would be a dud but I wasn’t the type of guy to let online reviews sway me so I decided to go to the local video store and rent out the first season of Spartacus: Blood and Sand

The first episode didn’t have much of a plot, just a bunch of lubed up, ripped to shreds group of naked guys, a LOT of blood, copious amounts of swearing, a couple of sex scenes, and a gay sex scene.

The second episode consisted of more naked ripped guys, just standing around and flexing their muscles, more blood, and more sex. But the kicker was some dude getting a bloody blowjob (yes, it was as weird as it sounds).

Episode three till five: Naked oiled up buff guys, flexing and standing around while talking. A dick shot here and there. Shots of the guys oiling up their muscles. More swearing. Shots of slow motion fighting. More penis shots. Slow motion oiling. Dated CGI. Sex scene. Penis shots. Muscles. Slow motion fighting. And more dated CGI.

After I finished episode five, I sat on my couch, just thinking if there was any point to continuing on. I became angry towards my girlfriend and felt like I had been made a fool of.

I mean, did she hate me that much to let me waste my money?

Determined to get answers, I confronted her, demanding to know what the hell was up.

She said I quit on the show too early.

“The pacing of the plot picks up from episode six”.

Episode six: A repeat of what happened in episodes one till five.

She kept telling me how much she loved the story and how it was so wonderfully told...

Bitch, don’t lie to me!

You and I know goddamn well that you don’t watch Spartacus for the plot or character development!

I don’t expect every show on TV to have an intricate plot like The Wire but I at least ask that the plot consist of more than just naked, ripped guys talking and flexing their muscles.


Spartacus, Television Series, Television Show, Television Shows

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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