Baby Learns a New Word

Memba Ben By Memba Ben, 21st Apr 2017 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

After taking my 8 month old nephew under my wing, he goes on to prove to me that imitation is NOT the sincerest form of flattery.

“... the devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns." - Tucker Max

I spent a lot of time with my 8 month old nephew and I must say that I enjoyed the little man’s company. Every time my sister had an emergency to attend to, she’d drop the little man off at my place and I’d babysit him. However, while I took care of him, I usually had to do the stupid baby talk and read stories about Noddy as my sister believed that reading to him at a young age stimulated his cognitive thinking (or some shit like that). So I’d be sitting there making dumb sounds and reading about how Noddy/Bumpy Dog got tricked by Sly/Gobbo and he’d nod off to sleep.

Once he fell asleep, I’d connect the Xbox and start playing FIFA. I’ll be the first to admit that I do tend to cause a bit of a ruckus but miraculously, the little man never woke up.

I’d also swear.

A LOT (playing FIFA does that to people).

One day, my sister called to tell me that all the endless hours of babbling and Noddy had paid off.

The child had finally said his first words:


Naturally, she wanted to celebrate so she called the family to meet on the coming weekend.

The weekend came and everyone was elated to meet and catch up but the baby was the main attraction. As soon as he said “Mama”, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room. After he said it a couple more times, we all went about with the business of catching up.

To set the scene, my dad, step mom and sister were on the large sofa, I was on the single seater and the man of the hour was on the floor, playing with his rock star toy set. Everyone was taking turns talking about what was currently going on in their lives, while I was mostly keeping an eye on the little man.

I noticed that he was struggling to put one of the drumsticks into the toy bag and thought of helping him out but decided against it. After all, at 8 months old, he’s almost a grown man. However, things weren’t working out. The little man was getting more and more frustrated trying to put the drumstick away and soon enough, a frown settled deep on his face.

As he went on fighting with the toy bag, he began muttering under his breath. At this point, everyone was beginning to notice what was going on but paid no serious attention to it. My folks and my sister laughed it off, but that only seemed to piss the baby off so he fought more ferociously with the dastardly toy bag.

What happened next was probably the last thing anyone expected.

It turned out that under my tutelage, my 8 month old nephew had covertly learned a new word and thought that the situation was as good a time as any to use it.

As my sister was going on about how she couldn’t be more blessed and such, my nephew tossed the drumstick to the side, gave an exasperated sigh and loudly proclaimed:


I must clarify that while every syllable wasn’t pronounced (he didn’t say the T); it was clear as to what he was trying to say.

Never had I seen silence descend so fast. It was as if the joyous mood that had previously smothered the room had never existed.

Everyone was just flabbergasted at what had just been said and I swear that I broke my jaw from how hard it dropped to the floor.

While there were no open accusations, it was clear as day whom everyone thought was responsible. There was absolutely no way to save the situation. My sister was staring daggers in me, my step mom had her hands over her mouth in shock and my old man just silently shook his head in disappointment.

I had robbed my sister of the idea of a perfect child and I had stolen the child’s innocence.

On top of all he had done, the man of the hour went back to doing baby shit like nothing had happened.

Take heed folks, babies are not as sweet as people say; those bastards are agents of evil.


Babies, Bad Influences

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author avatar Memba Ben
A fan's view on the business of football.

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author avatar Ronny
7th Sep 2018 (#)

nice storie.need it for my english lessons

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