Are You Too Stupid to Own a Television?

Melissa Dawn By Melissa Dawn, 4th May 2015 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Funny Stories

Televisions are getting more and more complicated, especially for the technologically-challenged amongst us. Many of us just want to watch a television show or a movie once in a while without all the hoopla. Here’s what happens when a technologically-dense older man, buys a new television!

Charlie Needs a New Television

An older friend of mine Charlie (not his real name) called me a couple of weeks ago to tell me he needed a new television. On the mend from a serious illness, he enjoys borrowing movies and old television series from the local library, and is something of a television trivia buff. If there is ever a pub quiz put on about old television stars, shows or characters, Charlie’s the man you want sitting next to you to win!

In this particular case, Charlie needed a new television. He had too old clunkers; one had lost all sound and one had lost most of its color, giving everyone on television a rather ghoulish green look. Having pondered this predicament, and finally coming to the conclusion it wasn’t worth tracking down a repair man, Charlie ventured off to Walmart to buy a new television. Of course I had to be dragged along with him!

The Television in Question

After looking at the vast array of flat screen televisions, Charlie settled on a 20 inch RCA model. The young 20-ish clerk assured us that the television came with a remote control and all necessary cords to hook it up to his DVD/VCR combo. I was fairly confident all would go well, until I got a call from Charlie a few hours later.

“It’s not a twenty inch television Melissa”.

“Well it must be Charlie, it said so on the box”.

“It’s not twenty by twenty. It is not a perfect square!”

“Was it supposed to be?” I have to confess I wasn’t really paying attention!

Charlie being one of life’s chronic complainers found the user guide and called the toll free number for RCA, while I held on the other line. Turns out, modern flat screens are measured across, NOT upwards. So while the television was 20 inches across it was significantly less in height.

Deciding it was too much trouble to take it back, and seeing as he really liked it, Charlie decided to live with the model he had. He told me he would call me back when he had it all connected and we could watch a movie.

The Color Situation

About an hour later, breathless and furious, Charlie was on the telephone to me again.

“I’ve been ripped off! This is a black and white television!”

“I don’t think they make black and white televisions anymore Charlie.”

“Well they made this one! I’ve got it all hooked up to the DVD/VCR and its black and white!”

I decided to hold on the cell phone, while Charlie called RCA toll-free from his house phone AGAIN! What was to transpire was one of the funniest television conversations I have ever heard. It went something like this:

“I have my television connected to the DVD/VCR but I don’t have any color”.

“All our televisions are color sir. Do you have the yellow, white and red cords attached properly to the DVD/VCR?”

“Well I’m watching a DVD aren’t I!”

“Is it a smart television sir?”

“Well it’s certainly not bad looking”.

“No, no. I mean do you also have internet connectivity?”

Lengthy pause here. Now Charlie can do basic internet searches and emails. He even owns a laptop, but has on occasion been known to call 411 to ask for someone’s email address! I decided I better inject some help into the conversation.

“Charlie, tell them it’s just a regular flat-screen television”.

“It’s just a regular flat-screen and apparently I’m the only one in the world with the black and white model”.

“This certainly sounds strange sir! You went through the set-up, hooked up your DVD/VCR combo and have a picture, but it’s black and white?”

“That’s right. I think you fella’s forgot to put the color cord in the box with the other ones”.

“The color………cord…….sir?”

“Yes. You know the cord that makes the television go from black and white to color!”

Then suddenly it hit me!

“Charlie”, I yelled down the cell phone, “Are you watching a black and white DVD?”

“Well of course I am Melissa!”

In the end

Poor Charlie was indeed a little puzzled to find that no technology exists (yet) to magically turn his old western black and white DVD’s into color, by magically plugging in a color cord. Something for the technology makers to think about, for their next gizmo they invent.

Charlie got over this set-back. He even decided to get another bigger flat screen television, and called to tell me he was thinking of getting a Roku box. I decided I might just join him on the next technology adventure!

Tags

Flat Screen Television, Flat Screen Tv, Funny, Funny Story, Funny Television Story, New Television, Television

Meet the author

author avatar Melissa Dawn
I have been writing ever since I can remember, and currently focus my attention on articles, how to guides and e-books. Check out my group e-book at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/488536

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Comments

author avatar writershirley lopez
4th May 2015 (#)

Like your article keep writing!

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author avatar Mark Gordon Brown
4th May 2015 (#)

Ha Ha, that is funny! It does make me wonder if they do make black and white televisions still.

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
5th May 2015 (#)

Thanks for reading guys. Hmmm don't think they do make black and white anymore

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
5th May 2015 (#)

Thanks for reading guys. Hmmm don't think they do make black and white anymore

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author avatar Retired
5th May 2015 (#)

Your friend seems to come out of the same box as the people who complain that they can't find the "any" key on their computer keyboard!

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author avatar Retired
5th May 2015 (#)

Love it Mellisa: excellent chuckle factor ... more please!

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
5th May 2015 (#)

Lewis, I have loads of funny stories! Stay tuned my friend!

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author avatar Retired
5th May 2015 (#)

Will do Melissa ... goodness knows, in this day and age, we all need an excuse to laugh a lot more.

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author avatar Steve Kinsman
5th May 2015 (#)

Your [post gave me a good laugh to start my day. Thank you Melissa!

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author avatar Melissa Dawn
5th May 2015 (#)

Your welcome Steve, you know I love your astrology stuff.

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author avatar Carol Roach
7th May 2015 (#)

well that really is a bit strange

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author avatar Nancy Austin
11th May 2015 (#)

Poor Charlie. I must admit, televisions are more complicated then they used to be. I'm with him on this one.

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author avatar Sivaramakrishnan A
13th May 2015 (#)

Lots of add-on features, applications, make even the technologically savvy go around the bend while the basics will do for most. We have to learn, unlearn and relearn all the time - maybe till the last breath! siva

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author avatar Retired
17th May 2015 (#)

I feel for Charlie and can relate 100%! I have had computers and TVs ever since both went digital several decades ago. But with every single new one I get, confounding and confabulation returns !#&%@*!

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author avatar Retired
22nd May 2015 (#)

When I was kid, I loved watching TV, now I don't even turn it on all day, How things changed since the Internet. Excellent post.

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author avatar peachpurple
24th Jul 2015 (#)

My fruend gave away her tv set. We have four tv sets but hardly use them

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author avatar Laurie Childree
25th Sep 2015 (#)

I want one of them color cords! lol

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