A proposed ban on sale of lion meat in Illinois, because why the hell not?

tkeister By tkeister, 4th Jun 2013 | Follow this author | RSS Feed
Posted in Wikinut>Humour>Off Beat

Lion meat is apparently being served in some Illinois restaurants. At least, a state congressman thinks so. At least we think he thinks so...

A proposed ban on sale of lion meat in Illinois, because why the hell not?

It is shit like this that makes Illinois a joke, a running joke, and puts the state in danger of being perceived as dumber than Mississippi.

With a state budget that looks like a terminal patient trying to unplug their own machine, not to mention an unfunded pension liability of over $96 billion, naturally you got a legislator coming up with stupid shit like this.

State Rep. Luis Arroyo (D-Chicago) is sponsoring a measure that would ban the sale of lion meat in the state of Illinois, which we all know is a runaway problem, thanks to the state's dense patches of jungles and massive lion population.

The actuality is Arroyo says he knows of two places he "thinks" lion meat is for sale, and that is why this bill is so crucially important. Keep in mind, Arroyo only "thinks" lion meat is being sold at the two places, which he won't name since he doesn't have a single shred of proof of any of the nonsense he's talking about.

Although, to be fair, the AP story I got this from (click the image to head there) mentions that "lion burgers are practically nonexistent on restaurant menus," so now I'm a little confused. I've seen typos on menus like "fried tenderlion," instead of "fried tenderloin," but what does the Associated Press know about dining in Illinois that Rep. Arroyo doesn't, and how awkward would that lunch meeting go to get him on the same page?

Arroyo's bill would establish penalties of up to one year in jail and a fine of $2,500 for offenders, but could be a moot point, as the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is considering protecting African lions under the Endangered Species Act. I suppose someone should ask why they weren't already on the list, but it's not going to me, at least not in this column.

Kristina Rasmussen, vice president of the Illinois Policy Institute, was as unimpressed as I was with this, saying that “legislators have bigger issues to tame than the commercialization of lion meat. Most people would never even conceive of eating lion meat. If this is a problem — and I’m not convinced that it is — surely it can be solved by civil action and community consensus and open debate. Do we have to rush in with a law, especially when we have so many other problems right in front of our face?”

Absolutely they do. That's the whole point of this. They got nothing, and are bringing all that nothing and then some to the table when they hammer out a half-assed plan to address the pension liability. Then, right before they approve it, they will have to knock it back to a quarter-assed plan, and the only possible way this will be achieved is by holding a special session. Because their regular pay covers all this nothing crap like lion meat, but if you should be so bold as to want a problem solved, well then, that will cost you extra.

Why would the House even consider a bill written solely to solve a problem that exists in the apparently fevered imagination of some state representative who wants to be able to say he introduced some kind of legislation to say he was looking out for the safety of the people, or the animals, or the reputation of of all the restaurants in town with a 'C' grade in the window. The kind of crap that will probably get him reelected.

The answer has become painfully obvious, and it is because time is money, talk is cheap, and the Illinois legislature is too interested in spending their allowances.


Commentary, Food Safety, Humor, Humour, Illinois, Lions, Opinion, Politics, Restaurants, Wtf

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author avatar tkeister
Writer/Blogger/Talk show host based near Louisville, KY. Focuses on humor, politics, entertainment/pop culture, and occasionally combat sports (pro wrestling/MMA).

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