Redneck Marriage Advice
Hey Bubba! You wanna live long? Follow my advice so your wife won't wring your scrawny red neck!
Advice for redneck men.
1. Tootin' and burpin' ain't acceptable in public, and don't make you look more manly.
2. She loves you, but wash the squirrel hair off and bleach your knife before you cut open the hot dogs for her.
3. Do not use the curtains for dish towels.
4. No matter how new your Muck boots are, they're still Muck boots, not dress boots.
5. Camouflage and plaid do NOT match.
6. A hunter's safety permit us NOT more important than a high school diploma.
7. Deer season, turkey season, and giggin' season ain't holidays.
8. It won't kill you to change a diaper here and there.
9. She appreciates all the hard work you do, but you still stink when you come home from work, so take a bath!
10. If she burns the deer meat, offer to babysit while she cooks supper.