F**k Computer Games - Just Give Me 6 Tabs of LSD and a Midget
Why it may be beneficial to stop today's youth using computers and give them drugs to play with instead...
The youth of today spend a massive amount of time playing on computer games that advocate murder, violence, theft and the like. Drugs, when used properly, advocate love, happiness and friendship. Games lull kids into a false sense of security - so that they think they can kill aliens and drive dangerously and beat people up because they have seen it on a screen.
Now, you can buy a game called Gears of War, where you run around killing aliens etc. This would cost you £40.
Think logically... I could buy £40's worth of acid and run around killing aliens that are a product of my imagination. I would be in my own game. A more realistic game where my thumbs won't be rendered useless through RSI. An experience i can recall at a later date when aliens really do descend on the earth and i can save the world. (Debatable - but very, very probable.)
The only real similarity with these 2 things is that they both end with me waking up on the sofa, in my pants, in the middle of the night. (As do most activities I partake in)
Not only do they provide vital life lessons - drugs also make things more fun!!
Neck a few tabs of LSD then go and find some midgets to watch - trust me, it is lifes single greatest experience and will keep you entertained for quite some time...
Have you ever tried watching midgets whilst completely sober?? It just doesn't have the same effect...
I assume childhood would be much better if we were spangled the whole time... Imagine if you were off your head that time when your 'Uncle' took you round the back of the shed to play 'Shut the fuck up and don't tell your Mum'!! It would have been a lot more bearable and maybe wouldn't have left you with irreparable mental scars...
I also assume, as would anyone with a bit of common sense, that it would be fucking hilarious to see a group of 10 year olds tripping their tits off on a school visit to the circus...
'Holy fuck, that trapeze artist just sprouted wings, turned into a giant lizard and burnt a massive effergy of Che Guevara with his eyes!! Duuuuudddee....'
I dont have to go into detail we've all been there...
I don't think the research has been done - but I think it is highly likely that introducing drugs to (and controlling them in) society would improve exam results, reduce crime and bake everyone in the country a delicious cake... (Citation needed)
I can't really see any reasons against implementation of this plan and I guess the only feasible explanation as to why it is not already in force, is some sort of elaborate governmental conspiracy designed to destroy the livelihood of the little people and help them wage war with the inhabitants of Jupiter!!
Excuse my paranoia there... I did too many drugs as a child.