Count Sneaky's NOTES FROM HADES / May 2012
This is the current Newsletter From Hades, a publication of the old PR Dept. soon to be replaced, upgraded, modernized and most important, profitable if the Chairman and the Chief have their way. News from the demons, fiends, and denizens of the pits, fumeroles and management memos to spread information and aid efficient disintegration and discombobulation of the clientele.
News From The Pits
News Item from The Washington DC Times:
It was announced today that one of above ground operatives Demon "Zip" Rektal was arrested after hours by security police at the National Sculpture Museum and charged with statuary rape.
Congratulations "Zip" and keep up the good work.
Our Demon Decor...
Our program to spruce up the place
Is proceeding at a faster pace.
The demon in charge of decor,
Upset the entire fiendish corps,
By using Light Cerulean Blue,
And Deep Naples Yellow too,
Instead of Nightshade and Hellabore.
Idle Mind Events This Month...
457th Tuba and Banjo Camp over at Fumerole 89; two weeks every other month. Fiend Pick in charge. Sign up now for your clients. Hideous aural torment. Free T-shirts and ear plugs.
Nipple Ring Classes for all demons and fiends who wish to impose this torment in conjunction with elaborate tattooing on their clients. Pit 486. Demon Hangnail.
Badminton Line Judges wanted over at Fumerole 78 for Barefoot Badminton Tournament, See Demon Washboard to apply and to register your clients as participants. All games played barefooted over warm coals. Trophies for your clients and visors and vests for you.
FOR SALE: The complete notebooks of Genghis Khan. Superb collection of all of his methods of destruction,including pillage,rapine, torment, and devastation. 15 volumes. See Demoness Ferlinghetti at Pit No, 378BC and make offer.
HORN ADORNMENTS: See Fiendess Zelda at Pit No. 987Q.
The Chief 's Off the Pot Memo...
TO: All staff demons, devils, fiends and imps.
FROM: Chief Operating Demon, James B. Crawl
It has come to the attention of Chairman of the Board and his Management Steering Committee that our Corporate Image and our Corporate Public Relations Program have been abysmally implemented. Heretofore, of course, such programs were deemed of little value to our overall mission, but the Chairman and the committee feel that the time has come to get off the pot with these programs. They feel that once these programs are in place we can enlarge our clientele especially the very profitable short-termers in Purgatory. Thus we would ensure a supply of gifts, endowments, grants, and bestowals. that are sorely needed to replace ageing machinery and to modernize our pits and fumeroles which are costing too much to operate at current fuel rates.
In accordance with their wishes and directives, I am ordering all demons and fiends in supervisory roles to furnish me with a list of all their clientele who were in the advertising and public relation fields above-ground. I know that we must have a very large contingent of such talent and experience in our domain and we might as well tap into it.
We are proceeding with the development of a Mission Statement and hope to have it ready for posting soon with our redesigned and expanded Newsletter. You are all required to read it and consider it a guide for all your planning and work as well juicy tidbits of information and malicious gossip.
Demon Feekal will be our new Editor. Please address all contributions as well as all nagging, bitching, and smoke and mirrors.