Count Sneaky's BIRD NERD'S E-GUIDE, Vol,1...
Count Sneaky's E-Aviary is a Bird Watcher's E-handbook to remind them that the creatures they so avidly pursue have personalities too.
WHY WATCH BIRDS ?
There is something about birds that reminds us of our own human qualities.
They are just as varied in their qualities, abilities, and talents as we humans.
They are as limited as we when it comes to breaking out of their molds and limitations and flying free, and perhaps, that's why we love them so much.
After much research, here is an AVIARY for you to use when discussing them
with a true birder. They will be impressed by your depth of knowledge and
emotional involvement...if not change the subject to politics.
A BIRD NERD E-AVIARY...
When he tries to swim...tends to sink.
THE BLUE BIRD
Leaves happiness...and an occasional turd.
THE BLUE JAY
Can squawk mightily...but has little to say.
Is so cautious and wary...that it's scary.
Knows that his brain ...is only marginal.
Can purr... without being heard.
THE CEDAR WAXWING
Is beautiful...and a bit of a ding-a-ling.
Has little respect for me...or you.
Is a very ungraceful...awkward galoot.
Always has his bags packed...ready to go.
Is incapable of life...without his lady love.
Is really a dumb...cluck!
Will look back...but never express regret.
Has been known to master...the Calypso.
Is one fast, tree climbing bug picker.
Has morals thought to be...very loose.
Can hover though it sounds...absurd.
Can walk the walk and... talk the talk.
Is mistaken when it thinks it can croon.
Thinks he is intelligent...because he can seesaw.
Can be taught to sing..."Coming Thru The Rye."
THE MOCKING BIRD
Knows very many... swear words.
Cannot sing when it has...a hangnail.
Curiously...only the surface will scratch.
Sad to say...must learn to scowl.
Among birds is considered... quite droll.
Has a funny walk and... very small feet.
Has a deathly fear... of having to defrock.
Has life that is... short and pleasant.
Oddly is not related to... the Widgeon.
Spends most of his time... turning rocks over.
Cannot fly high enough... to leave a contrail
Is not known to...go bob-bob-bobbing along.
Makes other birds want to... upchucker.
Is a shore bird who is... very hyper
THE SCARLET TANANGER
Does quite well without... a manager.
Can only say one word...Hark!
Always walks... the straight and narrow.
Leaves many bird lovers...snarling.
Can only stand on one leg...and go "Gwork!"
Is very vain and likes to dress... in chiffon.
Is a notorious... party-crasher
Will stand and watch any... DVD or video.
Typically, lacks even a trace... of culture.
Has never been known to... commit a sin.
Has no brain...not even a smidgeon.
Has quite a reputation as... a home-wrecker.
WRITE YOUR OWN E-BIRD BIOS...
Not every bird has been included here. Birders will be quick to point out missing species and want to know why their favorite has not been included.
Well the answer is that I only have so much space and I couldn't find a good rhyme for birds like the Snipe!
If you can rhyme a few new ones...send them to me and I'll write another
E-Aviary. Bird nerds, UNITE!